The telephone conversation with my mother last night was rather painful. She’s an authority in rubbing guilt and I’m the beginner in the guilt trip examination who flunked over and over again regardless of valid reasons. It’s plain and simple, one thing filipina women all feared and never talked about was divorce. That’s why when the rude awakening happened and all vital signs that the marriage is dwindling and in the brink of breaking up right in our very eyes, traditional filipina women would still choose to close their eyes and try to work it out for fear of loosing that social status of devine and traditional filipina living the normal life.

I’m the very wrong person to preach about morality or question the depth of it. But my take on relationship and marriage has long been influenced by many faces of cultures and mentality ever since I moved out of my parent’s house. And I have learned that when the box we live in becomes suffocating, we have the choice to get out of it and live outside it.

When asked by my mom, where have all my values gone? It’s actually still there inside the box and I am outside of it for the moment trying to breathe some air.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 28th, 2008 at 1:05 pm and is filed under Filipina Writing Project, The Filipina. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.