In continuation to Noemi’s post, here is the talk I presented at the Helena Benitez Global Forum on Women, Power and Sustainable Development at the Manila Hotel–the Filipina Images’ advocacy to local women leaders from different local government units nationwide such as mayors, vice-mayors, vice-governors, Board members, etc., on the occasion of the 1st International Seminar and Partnership Consultation on Gender Justice and Sustainable Development in celebration of International Women’s Month Celebration.Hesitant to talk about this closed issue–that was my initial reaction. But come to think of it, the negative issue has spurred an advocacy, that is The Filipina Images..

Thank you, Noemi and good morning to all of you.

Sexy Mom—that was what my kids called me, many years back when I didn’t even know the existence of blogs. So when I opened a blogsite in November 2006, fresh from early retirement, Sexy Mom has become my pseudonym, my cybername—my internet nickname. My blogsite was known as “The D Spot.”

It was going very well in the beginning, it was even fun, as the name was catchy, easy to memorize and had a following. If you google searched the word Sexy Mom, you would find my blogsite, The D Spot, as number one from among the almost 1 million search results in the world wide web. Even yahoo or hot mail had the same results. I did not even have to give away calling cards when people asked me for my website. I just told them to google search Sexy Mom for them to access my blog.

I was happily sharing my thoughts, my experiences through the blog, gaining friends, readership, yes, even getting writing assignments. My blog has become not only my online publication, but my network to the world as well.

By the way, it was through this blog that the Joaquin family came to know about me and assigned me as their local representative in Manila in relation to the Nick Joaquin biography planned to be launched in 2009.

Everything was going well, until one fine day 7 months later, in June 2007, I got a comment (repeatedly at that) from a person who called him/herself as “decent mother”, which I quote: “You are a disgrace to the Filipino women. We have been trying to change the image of the Filipino women in the internet. Foreigners type “filipina” to search for women to have sex. The same kind of people (pedophiles and perverts) type “sexy mom” and it points to You . You are an embarrassment to our country. Stop using SEXY MOM. Filipino mothers are loving caring mothers. Leave the SEX part in your bedroom. Mommy bloggers laugh behind your back because of your pseudonym. Filipino women are too polite to tell you to say that using sexy mom is killing the filipino women.”

At first, I was not bothered. I told myself everyone was entitled to his/her own opinion. What could I do if I could not humor a humorless person, I told myself. But “decent mom” did not stop there. To make matters worse, same comment was made in my 3 sons’ blogs (my family is known as a blogging dynasty, btw, and I was thankful that “decent mom” did not leave a message in my 10-yr old son’s blog, and did not know my 3 daughters’ blogs), with an additional sentence, which said, “Let this serve as a warning to your family.”

What to do? My family was under attack!

Breath in…breath out. First time in my life—I was at a loss, I didn’t know what to do. I could not even write a rebuttal, I was more afraid than angry, the creative juices in me gone! Afraid for the safety of my 4 boys and 3 girls. What if this “decent mom” were a paranoid person, out to do harm?I sought the advice of my blogger friends through a blog post—I was surprised with the pouring of support.

First to come to my rescue was my 17 year old son, B.A., who wrote in his blog: A disgrace? An embarrassment? Really now? Let me read it to you.

Lemme start this entry with a bit of history.

A few years back, my mother was so conscious of her figure, that every night she would ask us kids, “am I fat?”

Being the lovely kids we are, we always replied, “no mom! You’re sexy! The sexiest mommy of all!”

And thus, the pseudonym Sexy Mom was born.Now, on with the rant.

Just this afternoon, I received a threat in the comments section of one of my entries. A certain “decent filipino woman” (filipinowoman@gmail.com) was ranting against my mom’s use of her pseudonym.

Of course, I did not approve the comment (but wtf, I’m posting it here It’s also published here.).

Aaaaanyways.The “decent” filipino woman said that my mom was a “disgrace to Filipino women” because her use of the pseudonym “Sexy Mom” leads to promotion of perversion in the Philippines.

How?

According to her comment, when perverted foreigners type “sexy mom” in the internet, it points to my mom. And this, the filipino woman says, is a disgrace and an embarrassment.

Great.

Let’s do a bit of role playing. I’ll be a dirty pervert, looking for some alternative mommy sex. And my mom, plays as herself, the Sexy Mom of the blogosphere.

I go to Google. I type “sexy mom in the Philippines” on the box, and then click on “I’m feeling lucky today!”

What pops out? The D Spot.

Ok then. Sounds naughty enough. Now I start looking for some sexy pictures…

Aaaand… I find none.

What do I get instead?Tips on Filipino motherhood. On parenting. On learning. On travel. On patriotism.

Filipina sex? None. Malicious pictures? None. Sexy moms having sex? NONE.

So, tell me, “decent” filipino woman. How the heck does this lead to the embarrassment and disgrace of our country?

Don’t you think my mom’s blog is doing otherwise?

Yes, people continue to search for dirty, malicious content by using the keywords “sexy mom.” But instead, what do they get? A wholesome blog.

Rather than promoting how sexy and sex-able Filipinas are, my mom is promoting the Filipina mother in a very wholesome way.

And that, my friend, is nowhere near to saying that the Filipina woman as a foreigner sex object (as how your comment implies).D

Does her blog disgrace the country? No.

Does her blog embarrass the Filipina woman? No.

Does her blog show how good Filipinas are in bed? No.

So here I go again, saying my favorite line…Before saying anything and attacking the person personally, please, know the person first.

And if it’s us bloggers you’re attacking, please, learn how to read before you attack.

What’s so wrong with using a pseudonym?

From there, other mommy bloggers took action. Taking pity on my plight, Noemi consulted her sister, Lorna who provided an insight, “The anonymous writer has good intentions but I think doesn’t understand that fighting hackneyed perceptions about “sexy mom” means also fighting the women’s cause by using the same weapons — that is, the same words”.

Noemi got inspired with Lorna’s insight. She then blogged about Reshaping the Sexy Filipina Image based on previous “Filipina” campaigns in the past like Search Engine Optimization Expert (SEO), Marc Macalua; The Filipina and “Yan ang Pinay”, Fabulous Filipina Presence and others.

And many Filipino bloggers, mothers or not, males and females, followed suit. They wrote in their blogs, reclaiming the dignity of the Filipina woman, and reshaping the clean image of the Sexy Filipina.

At that time up to this time, I still continue to maintain #1 ranking for Sexy Mom, SexyMom, Sexy Filipina Mom, with other mom bloggers in page 1. This page used to be fully occupied with the pornographic and dating sites.We needed to work out on the “Filipina”.

Moving on… I am very very glad that this negative issue has spurred an advocacy for reshaping the online and sexy Filipina image.

Half a year ago, when you google search “Filipina”. All you got were dating and pornographic sites.

Now, Google search Filipina. You will see, in page 1, rank 1 “The Filipina Images.” Page 1 will now look more like a combination of the healthy and dating and pornographic sites. We would like to fill it with the clean image—and you can help us do that!

Thank you.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 3rd, 2008 at 9:17 pm and is filed under Events and Media, Site News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.