The Image of the Modern Filipina

I disagree 100%. I am an American married to a wonderful Filipina. We married because we love each other, we didn’t have sex until after the marrage. After over 20 years that love has only increased. The only people that think of Filipnas as hookers and whores are the low-life SOBs that only go to the Philippines for that purpose. They bring shame on their country, their family, and themselves when they do.

I have had a wonderful life with my wife and her family respects me more than my own. It would not bother me one bit if Filipino Husbands, Fathers, and Brothers shot everyone that went there just for sex.

Ken Harbit

Stumbled upon this blog from Noemi.

Anyways, I want to clarify that no parents would ever want their daughters to be pimped out to men. No self-respecting, loving mother or father will do that.

The problem of prostitution in the country was brought about by the continuing dgradation of morals in the society because of the continued inequality between the millions of poor Filipinos and the few rich moguls. Filipinas, including Filipinos, were driven to this extremes so as to keep themselves alive.

This problem is not unique in the Philippines. This problem is a symptom of poverty and inequality that pervades in different poor and corrupt nation.

The Filipinos should start cleaning its act and be serious about governance.

Ishmael Ahabs last blog post..Ban Those Political Posters

Interesting read but I think the one who’s spewing out the opinion/s shld learn more about the topic/s so he won’t sound “anti” pinay. If the person’s intend is to helped pinays, he sure missed. He made it sound “almost all” pinays are gold diggers, uneducated, with a bad image abroad.

I’ve lived in 2 countries aside from PI and so far, whenever I tell them I’m from the Philippines, they don’t presumed that I’m a “mail order bride” or “prostitute” rather a nurse or occasionally, a doctor. They have positive opinions of us. We’re known as hardworking people with great work ethics and highly educated.

Yes, we have our share of problems, but it’s not any worse than other countries with the same financial challenges. I believed that it’s worst in Europe, especially the Baltic region, when it comes to women being prostituted by choice or force. Russia, at one point was the main source of “mail order brides.” This is base on stat done in surveys.

Majority of pinays abroad are not “mail order brides” rather nurses or domestic helps. Speaking of domestic helps, they are not “uneducated” bunch as well. Most are degree holders, like Editha that I met in Montreal, who’s a teacher in PI. She decided to work as a domestic help because her salary in PI is not paying enough to cover her family’s basic needs. In Canada, foreign workers, are well protected by the law so they won’t become victims of abuse or taken advantage of. Unfortunately, not all countries are civilized and/or evolved.

As to women, Pinays or/and others posing and posting nude photos in the web, they are probably in the “meat” biz and trying to expand their territories. It’s nothing new. The only different is now they have a new place to sell their wares.

Just a little tip, Mr.Steve-o, have you tried searching Polish women, russian women, ukrainian women, etc. I bet you’ll come up with ,” what appears on every computer screen is mail order bride services masquerating as dating or key-pal websites, and more pornographic pictures of ______ than anyone can count.” (you cld certainly fill in the blank with other cultural exchange women).

Thanks for your bias opinion of Pinays, by the way.

Noemi, I hope you don’t truly accept Steve’s opinion as insightful or even worthy of consideration as “the image of the modern Filipina.”

I disagree sharply with his supposed advice and his wholly oversimplified characterizations, and I take offense at his attempt to define and ride the moral high horse while simultaneously condemning those he feels don’t measure up. He states his intention is to help improve the image of the modern Filipina, yet his words serve only to insult the very people he seeks to “help.” With one hand he patronizes them with his backhanded compliments and with the other hand he slaps them in the face. It’s clear to me that he has no real understanding of the problems Filipinos face on a day to day basis, nor does he really understand the “modern Filipina” as much as he’d like to think he does.

His points are made up; they are so fantastical they’re laughable. He provides no evidence to back up his claims, instead relying on his opinion to carry his argument. Where are the supporting facts or experiences? Were he to perform actual research, he would find the reality is much different than he supposes it is. That research would be easy: spend a reasonable amount of time in the Philippines (avoiding Makati or Angeles City, as they represent very little of the real Philippines as I’ve experienced it) and talk to the people who live there. If he did this, I believe he would find his own opinion ridiculous in short order. If he has already done so, and still maintains this line of reasoning, then he is beyond learning. The truth remains regardless: the vast majority of Filipinas I know who are married to or who want to marry foreigners are good, honest, decent people. And I know quite a few personally.

His assertion that most Fil/Foreigner marriages are proven not to work is completely unfounded as well, along with his assertion that they fail because they’re based on “sex for money.” Where does he get this information? Out of a hat? He should at least provide his sources. Perhaps he’s heard of a few cases. I’m sure there are some. It’s unfortunate that the overwhelming majority of perfectly normal and happy examples of Fil/Foreigner marriages never make headlines, but that’s how life is, I suppose. Happiness is boring, while controversy makes the news. One bad apple does not spoil the bushel, Steve.

The given list of “must-haves” underscores Steve’s ignorance of the subject. For example, college education, particularly a university degree, simply isn’t within the reach of the majority of honest, decent, hard-working Filipinas. In a family of 4 kids (the average size), one or maybe two lucky kids might get to go to college. That’s one of many reasons Filipinas seek foreign marriages in the first place – a lack of opportunity in their homeland. However, for Steve to even suggest a good Filipina must have a university degree before she seeks foreign marriage offends me greatly. What justification does he have for such a requirement? Where does he come up with his moral imperatives? What qualifies him as an expert in the field of ethical sociology? What experience does he have?

He makes it sound like opportunities to go to college are falling out of the sky, free for everyone to pick up and run with. I can assure him this is not the case, even in highly prosperous countries like the USA. But does he really believe otherwise? Is he that disconnected from reality?

Allow me to enlighten you, Steve, with my own superior experience & insight on the subject of Filipinas marrying foreigners. I can speak on this subject because I live it. This is mirrored by experiences of many good people I know who I’ve met along the way and who are in marriages just like mine. You see, you inevitably meets many such couples when you go through the K1 or K3 visa process, and a number of those people end up being part of your married-life barkada. The experience binds us and enriches our collective lives in ways I can’t begin to express to you.

Were it not for a “Mail Order Bride” site, I’d not be enjoying a beautiful, loving, stable family with a wonderful Filipina. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, and I wish this sort of happiness could be granted to every family. My wife, while not a university degree holder, nonetheless possesses all of the positive moral character traits Steve believes are necessary – and then some. She’s an intelligent, loving, dynamic, pragmatic, industrious, and sophisticated woman who deserves no less than the utmost respect. It just so happens we found each other through a dating site. Big deal. That’s how a lot of good people find each other these days. Does Steve place the same level of scorn on “eHarmony” and other sites like that who help honest people find love each and every day?

My wife is no prostitute, nor is she a derelict or a beggar. She wasn’t looking for a quick handout nor tempted into an immoral situation when she decided to click the “chat” button on my profile. She was looking for a better life – a partner to love and support who would love and support her, too. It’s a practical arrangement with a romantic payoff, the kind of thing westerners usually don’t have the emotional fortitude or maturity to understand. She was looking for a man with whom she could raise a family and improve the quality of her life and the lives of the extended family she left back home in the Philippines. And she is doing that every day with every step she takes and breath she breathes. My life, her life, and every other life in our lives is much improved because of who and what she is and the choices she has made. I dare say she is one of the champions of her homeland.

Steve, it takes much more than a Google search and backhanded compliments to understand Filipino culture. When I read your words I can instantly recognize your westernized viewpoint, for all its lack of depth and understanding. I see it all the time.

Have you been to the Philippines? I don’t mean the touristy spots, although there’s plenty of desperation there, too. I mean the places where regular, average folks live. It’s a hard life, and conditions are unlike anything you and I have ever been through. It’s that kind of desperation that leads people to want to do drastic things to improve their lives. Yet for all the choices they might make, marriage to a foreigner isn’t drastic in the least. Even in the most upstanding of families it is considered a thing of status to have a daughter who is married to a foreigner. My point is, Filipinas in all kinds of financial situations frequently seek marriage with foreigners and it behooves no one to judge any of them.

And even still, marrying a foreigner is a road fraut with potential perils. There’s a lot for any brave Filipina to lose by leaving behind her homeland for a new world and a new life. It’s risky, and any number of bad things could happen. Yet my wife put aside the fear, kept her head up, and walked straight into her self-made destiny with the courage of a lion – fully aware of what ignorant folks might think & say about her choice or her sense of morality. Are you one of those ignorant folks, Steve? Because you sure sound like it.

Judge me personally, if you like, Mr. Schertzer, but the bottom line is that you aren’t fit enough yet to make any assumptions about my wonderful wife or the millions of other Filipinas out there just like her. Shame on you for carelessly putting so many of them into your narrow stereotype. A little homework is in order, sir, as Aida has hitherto so eloquently tried to impart to you.

John, the way you wax poetic about your university degreeless wife, I would think you have a fetish for young, uneducated Asian flesh. But I digress. Sticking to the facts, “Mail order bride” websites are illegal. Has been in the Philippines since 1990 and was amended in 2003. It’s called the “Republic Act 6955.” Perhaps you have heard of the “International Marriage Broker Regulation Act” or IMBRA, signed into law by President George W. Bush. If not, feel free to Google it. This law was enacted to protect immigrant women from abuse at the hands of their foreign husbands. You do believe in laws protecting women and children, don’t you, John?

Anyway John, your chivalrous and gallant attempt to “liberate” the Filipina from a life of toil and responsibility does not fool me. I realize that it was never meant to. First World Western men who march headlong into the Philippines in an attempt to “save” Third World Eastern women from their impotent governments are no more liberating them, than U.S. troops marching into Baghdad to liberate the Iraqis from Saddam Hussein. The “Mail Order Bride” industry, whether in the Philippines, Thailand, Russia, or elswhere, is a legacy of Western imperialism and domination of the third world by superior powers in an attempt to control the poor and its nations resourses. It is essentially a leftover from a bygone area which saw millions of innocent people killed and the land raped and pillaged.

Put lipstick on a pig, John, but at the end of the day, it’s still a pig. Your justification to allow any foreign man to marry any Filipina, regardless of age, wealth, education, family background, etc., under the guise of love, still amounts to little more than social and sexual exploitation by foreigners over disadvantaged women and children. You can put a tuxedo on social and sexual exploitation, but at the end of the day, it’s still social and sexual exploitation.

I can understand a man’s desire to marry a foreign woman half his age with little money and education. After all, human nature is still human nature, and many of the Western men who come to the Philippines to look for a bride are themselves refugees from Western feminism. If these men wanted an educated wife with money and a fair amount of independence, they would have married one of their own.

So laws are put into place for a reason. In this case, to protect. I fear for many of the children born from these unions. If the Philippines keeps on “importing” less than stellar foreign men to marry their women, in 10 years this once beautiful country will have tens of thousands of half-breeds running around looking for their foreign fathers, who will have awoken one morning to realize that marrying an uneducated, dirt-poor Filipina was not to their liking after all. Yes, laws were made to protect.

So here’s an idea, John. If you really care about your wife and her education, why not put her through school? That’s right. Spend a lot of your hard-earned Western cash by helping your wife become more educated and independent. Put your money where your mouth is. Or better yet, become a teacher.

I have been teaching English in Asia since 1997. I have taught thousands of Asian children, especially girls whom I love to teach. My desire is to educate them sufficiently enough so that they don’t have to marry Western men for the primary purpose of putting food on their table. If you really care about the Philippines, John, educate their children. Especially the girls so that they won’t eventually be exploited by the Western man.

Just a thought, John. Have a nice day.

i don’t understand the point or the requirements. for that to happen, one has to take away filipinas’ free will before the desired results could even come close to happening.

i think it’s more important to educate women of what laws could protect them against exploitation rather than these arbitrary requirements. and probably a back up plan, if things go wrong. noone can predict the future.

have a good day. i do admire your good intentions.

To Ken Harbit:
Of course, her family respects you. They’d do that, especially if you regularly send them money “to help them”.

To Ishmael and Roland:
It’s not just prostitution we’re dealing with, it’s the idea of a young girl looking for someone who’s old, rich and decrepit (matandang mayamang madaling mamatay). It’s a concept that’s unfortunately passed down from parents to daughters in the Philippines, especially in poorer families. I personally have been advised by relatives to find a Caucasian to marry who can give me a better life. Indeed, I’ve had screaming matches with them because I flatly refused to marry for money or skin colour or citizenship (I didn’t care how much trouble I got in for answering back at certain grandparents). These women who marry foreigners will mostly ask for citizenship (of themselves and/or their parents/siblings) and/or money to be sent regularly back home (“to help”). They will “love” you if you pay for their needs and their families needs.

To Aida:
Just because websites also promote mail-order brides from other countries doesn’t mean it’s a GOOD THING that they promote Filipinas as mail-order brides as well.

To JD:
It’s true that Filipinas only want to survive and have better lives, but there are too many of them (us) who resort to marrying old, white men for the “better life” they envision.

To John:
You say the article is fantastical, yet you’re not the one being approached by pensioners and sexagenarians looking for Filipina child brides. Each time I think of how degrading it was to have to explain that I wasn’t “that kind of Filipina”, I quake with anger. I’ve been getting approached by men old enough to be my dad since I was twelve. There’s no excuse for ignorance. I’ve never advertised myself as a mail-order bride or as even someone specifically looking for a foreigner, but because I’m a Filipina, these men seem to think I’m a mail-order bride. And I’ve been approached by men from several countries in different continents, so please don’t tell me these concerns are unfounded. It’s a verbal slap in the face to be told that I’m supposed to accept all that degradation and humiliation because I’m a Filipina.

To Carlo:
I don’t think the article means just prostitution. And this article is focused on Filipinas because it’s on a website about Filipinas. Again, just because women are degraded in other parts of the world doesn’t mean the degradation is right.

To Steve:
Some of the women I know who are looking for “better lives” with foreign men DO have degrees and have jobs. Unfortunately, education or social class doesn’t matter when women prefer to wait for knights in shining armour to save them instead of paving the way to stable, self-sufficient futures.

—–
I know several intelligent Filipinas who could be making better lives for themselves. Instead, as soon as they found out I was leaving the country to get my master’s degree, they just asked me to find them white men to marry. Is this what women are for? Are we all meant to be barefoot and pregnant, waiting for our (much older) men to come and provide every single necessity? I disagree. We’re in the 21st century. And even if we weren’t, historically, Filipinas have always been stronger than they are now. They used to be men’s equals and instilled pride and admiration. It’s a crying shame to see so many women not apply themselves and instead hope for someone to save them from their lives.

1) The Filipino low image is addressed by its own professionals.
The reasons for poor image is because it is the constitutional
result of extreme protectionism, resulting from isolationism,
which results from island thinking? The ex German Chancellor on China television, made the statement that island thinking is unique as it has no neighbors to stimulate thinking, progress. The low Filipino image is a self induced factor, by its own national constitution.
You must recall that the immigrants to the United States during the 1900′s came into Ellis Island taking whatever work they could.
Many American occupations are also dirty jobs, the U.S. military
is not a fun occupation, Chicago Illinois sells more dog food than there are dogs, meaning many in Chicago eat dog food. Appalachia primarily with other major metropolitan big cities creates 13 million American children that go to bed hungry.
Mail order brides were common in the U.S. during the frontier days
when women were scarce on the western plains. Today, people from all over the world are marrying mail order within or out of their own country. This phenonemia is not restricted to The Philippines and never has been. The marriage of Filipino’s has been the source of much humanitarism by private Filipino’s from the industralized countries and much of the day to day living expenses in The Philippines come from these mail order brides. You mention skin color, but what’s interesting is that Polynesians having the same skin color, are referred to a sun-tanned, a positive attribute, but the Filipino as a website entitled the ‘brown color’ which in its objective the name is inordinate. How is it on one hand the skin color is paramount but foreign men have no problem marrying a Filipino.
The most noticeable behavior of Filipino is this indigenous thinking which is the very problem. No country today can be indigenous and succeed. From the early Spaniards, Portuguese, French, the wealth was derived from trade, from accepting fresh ideas from outside.
The Philippines must have more outside influence to overcome this image. Many foreigners with fresh ideas, the culture of the centers of arts and sciences establish institution and when they expire the locals take over the institution decays, deteoriates.
The media, the textbooks printed in and by The Philippines are
offensive to foreign history, exclusionary to world events and
contributions, projecting the accomplishments and hiding the interaction of the world’s positive influence. The island thinking in Philippine institutions, projects a propaganda that guarantees failure. You learned that have not been reared in industrialized countries are slaves to procedure, robots that have not the common sense to make mature adult decisions when the procedures do not fit the scenario. They continue on, slothfully to failure when procedure, does not fit a situation. Procedures are important; however when a situation does not fit a procedure, then one must have the creativity of expression and confidence to make an adult mature decision.
Isn’t it interesting that a Philippine public school student cannot speak English, many laborers having attended public schools shun American ways, cannot even read the instructions on a product.
However, few public school students do learn English, the world language well, they study hard, they apply themselves and they succeed in this economy. From the meager means, they use the American work ethic and they become doctors, well to do tradesman, being eager to learn new ideas. Even in industrialized countries we must be eager to learn, accepting of ideas. Americans cannot make a livelihood without extreme work, hours of dedication. You will find that successful people from any country are not exclusionary, do not insist on their own way, work hard, fail and get up and keep on trying until they succeed. The greatest opportunity for the Philippines is to increase foreign investment as the industrialized countries need to cut back on foreign investment. The Philippines
needs to reach out to its American counterparts and stop feeling sorry for themselves. First you exclude the lifeblood of culture, of the arts, the sciences, you exclude foreign ideas, but in reality you need this spice to overcome the vast ocean that separates the Philippines from the industrialized countries. It is the vast oceans around the country that pervade the exclusionary mindset.
Interesting that more Asians speak English than the American population but in The Philippines having had English served on a gold plate from the Taft administration in the 1800′s there is a resistance to learn the world language. All countries in the world always learn the major world powers language and hence they become wealthy, but in The Philippines it is a social norm to worship the indigenous inward attributes as a positive factor. This is incoherent. Today in the industrialized countries are millions of retirees unable to cope within their economy and The Philippines has one distinct advantage in being good at medical. You expect the U.S. to provide free military for your seaways, your airways, neglecting that such a military does not come cheap, and you distance yourselves from the very source of success. The Philippines with a good image would be setting up programs to bring in retirees on a massive scale to keep its citizens employed in their own land. The government could easily arrange to help its alleys whom the Philippines always expect so much of their alleys, to actually help the Philippines allies by an agreement to take retirees from the industrialized countries with
a clear police record, an income, and building a win-win arrangement to help the industrialized countries with your medical expertise.
There is a host of opportunity but the extreme protection mindset is the biggest cause of low self image, anger, anxiety. The demonstrations at the U.S. embassy had nothing to do with the marine, but was an anger at its ally, when the Philippines by its own protectionist indigenous mindset is the only element that causes low self esteem. America reached out during the Taft administration to send hundreds of school teachers to The Philippines and America sent its boys to die for Philippine freedom. Why not reach out as did America to help your ally? Your basic philosophy of protectionism is your greatest reason for low self image, and magnifying your allies
faults rather than its contributions are decompensating. You create your own problems. Look at Singapore, Japan. The Philippines after World War 2 had not to build an expensive military for its international waters and only the mindset of exclusiveness has, as it would have the industralized counties thwarted progress, a good living, a good relationship with its allies. America, Canada, Australia, England work together. Why not induce change to positive Christian love towards those who are trying to help you, not work.
Asians are 5% U.S. population, of which Filipinos are 1,080,000 are becoming wealthy, your own two presidents were reared in the United States. We succeed because we do not exclue our allies. Why continue this exclusionary mindset to your own continued loss in creating poverty, low self image. The reason you have not is because you give not. How many Filipinos helped America, Australia, England, Canada, during its dark hours? Was not the blood of us, to our fathers, mothers, sisters, wives, children just as imortant as your blood during war. Think howmany American still lament to loss of their loved ones who died for the Phlippines. In today’s economy in the industrialized you have opportunity to help and by helping you can attain the high image you desire, but you like all of us, must change your thinking. You are really no different than our beginnings.
We of the industrialized countries are not too good to work hard at dirty jobs, to struggle to learn, to reach out to help our neighbors.
The scenario of the marine in Manila was a public disgrace. Do you not think with the overseas workers, the 1,080,000 million Pinoy’s in 50,000 counties in the U.S. that the Filipino men are not among police reporting’s of the same nature as the marine in Manila?
It would be as though Filipino men were all celebate? The conduct of your justice system was offensive, unjudicial among Christian nations.
We do not protest your embassy, just a police report is made when a Pinoy in the U.S. commits a crime, and
many of them on a regular basis. The kind of thinking that fosters protests against our embassy is to your own shame. Americans would never ostracize a Filipino in America. This behavior is of your own origins and most discredable to your justices, to have a carnival over what is a common police report in an industrialized country.
If the U.S. were exclusionary we too would suffer from the same
consequences as would any people. You indigenous mindset does not work and blaming the industrialized countries that want to be a part of you and your people is counterproductive, the very cause of isolationism. Compare Cuba’s textbooks with yours. Is there not a likeness? It is not wonder Cuba is poor, for it wants to be. The Philippines also rejects the very elements that would make it prosperous. Having the Christian ethic to help, to reach out, as did America, despite the byproducts of few detrimental scenarios does not compensate for all the good America and its industrialized allies have attempted to do for the Philippines. You’re a bit too self-righteous, rejecting the ways of the west, the ways of those who help you, when it’s the initiative, the acceptance of the industrialized west whose ways you reject.

Denise,

Thank you for your comments and for sharing your experiences. It’s about time that honest and decent Filipinas begin to stand up to this “Mail Order Bride” phenomenon. And thank you to all others who have commented.

Why?

Who appointed you the arbiter of which adults from which countries date and communicate with who?

I’m not a purveyor of the phenomenon but I’ll not wag my finger trying to determine how grown-ups act–poverty or wealth.

In a sense your as bad a racist as anyone; poor Asians, the great white hope will rescue you. And probably broadcast it so he can get laid as that ‘sensitive guy’ in the process and/or get some fame. Oh, by a simple google of your name that seems to be true.

How does an ESL teacher–a profession notorious for under-educated, poorly paid and socially misfit Americans/Aussies,/Brits/Kiwis–get the expertise to make judgments on others. The fact that he’s a long-term ESL teacher in Asia–almost the definition of failure–shows he has mismanaged his own personal and professional life, that itself makes his judgments suspect.

The thing is, i like this talks. Just make more of it so that we can learn more from your own veiws& studys. If its worth it. Cheers!!

I disagree 100%. not all filipina married foreigner for money

Hello everyone,

Interesting comments. I guess I will speak for what I believe is a fairly large number of those “disgusting” men who in the past have frequented the bars and paid for sex with filipinas. Yup… it’s true. Most of us “perverts” really wouldnt fess us to paying a prostitute to sleep with them, but I will. In my time as a whoremonger, I have met dozens of normal, well adjusted men who patronize bars and filipina bar girls. Off the top of my head I know 3 airline pilots, a cardiologist, 2 dentists, a lawyer, and frankly dozens of other very grounded and “normal” guys who love filipina women and use the service of prostitutes… Wake up people— it’s the world’s oldest profession. One of the original authors points is true. Many of the girls that work the bars are hoping to meet Mr. Right who will rescue them and take them away from their work to live hapily ever after. And guess what, it does happen. I guess one might say, wow these girls are not too bright if they think selling themselves is the best way to land a husband… How degrading! Well fact is many of them are spot on. I met my wife in a bar. She had worked there for two years as a prostititue and I hired her for sex the first night I met her. I quickly realized that we had a connection and asked her to stop working. She did and we dated for a year and a half (and yes for those of you wondering I did support her during that time, although not nearly as nicely as she could have done earning her own money). We got married, had two kids and have owned two businesses together. She is 20 years my junior and we have been married now for 9 years. I love her entire family and have integrated completely with them and they with mine. I have absolutely no doubt about her feelings of love for me. She has four friends of hers who have also married western men out of the bars and have successful marriages. A fifth is engaged. Now I am quite certain that there are just as many horrible stories, but thats my two cents….

Hmm, Filipinas we call them. Looking back the history, where did the prostitution started? Who brought the prostitution? Are there Filipinos before in the Philippines or what is the name of the Country Philippines before? When we give comments, we also think it is like a boomerang to us. They are humans too. Call them a dirt! It is not only in the Philippines where the dark sides lies. If a man is concern enough, then go out and shout the evil sides of the world. Everybody has his own responsibility, if we think you and I can save a single individual then let us roll our sleeves. Many concern individuals drank their tears, shade blood and fought for justice.. still not enough. Not every citizen in the Philippines is crazy. They do educate their child.

Steve you seems to be so narrow-minded. Your style wont work on us. As if you are trying to help us upbringing our morality and those other stuff u hav mentioned. You’re not helping us steve, you are insulting us. Yes, that negative thing u mentioned bout pinay are basically true, mail-bride pinay, but dont just put negative mind to pinay, have you not have any impression to those foreign race like you who ill treated pinay, who used pinay for your simple pleasure, who slaved us, your race are the one who made some pinay immoral. Stop acting as if u are so clean, might as well u have dirt all over your soul.

I thought John did a great job explaining what many choose to gloss over in broad strokes. I too am married to a Filipina for 12 years. She is not half my age. She works hard and pays 40% of all the bills. She doesn’t send all her money to the Philippines, but doesn’t neglect her loved ones back home. It’s so easy to look upon others as lazy whores. By the way, do some homework on prostitution. You can’t even talk about the subject without talking about victimization and abuse. Sure many enter on the own, but some (many) are brutalized. What are you doing to help? God doesn’t seem to get mentioned much here. I wonder why. Well I love God, so does my wife. We also have a wonderful daughter, a home and our own businesses. I have two college degrees, but my wife had to forgive my past, not vice versa. We have a good life. By the way, you better take a long hard look at Americans. I’m proud to be one. Having said that, we aren’t the great beacons of understanding and humanity that we once were and should be. Stop pointing the finger and racializing things. Look and the mirror my friend. If you open your eyes when you do that, you might become more gracious. Peace and Joy.

I have met Filipinas of all types. Just as most of us have met Westerners of all types. Would I marry a bar girl, I can not say for sure, but what I can say is that some of the best women I have ever crossed paths with were working in a bar. Some loved their jobs, while others were there simply to better their family’s situation, and to increase their chances of meeting a foreigner.

All of the women I met in a bar had basically been screwed by a former boyfriend or husband. Some had a kid or two, while the others did not, but still had responsibilities to their siblings, and parents/grandparents. None had more than one year of higher education. I see having a good time at a bar, meeting fun people, and later paying a bar fine a non-issue. How many times have we met a girl in our own country at a bar, paid for her drinks all night, and then maybe a meal before taking her back to the pad for some naughty fun? What is the difference?

Now, on the flip side of the coin, I have met some so called “good girls” who were so full of crap that it would make you vomit. Some of these girls are the true gold-diggers of the world. I am talking about absolutely no personality what-so-ever. Then also, I have met some sweet “good girls” as well, ones that I would have considered possibly marrying had that been what I was ready for at the time.

Yes, the PI has a whole host of problems, problems that I seriously have no glue how they will fix them. But, its their countrymem who will have to do it. I travel to the PI to enjoy a nice vacation with no intentions of trying to solve any of their problems. And by the way, I assure you there are far more prostitutes in American than there are in the PI, if you do not think so then you, my friend, are deillusional.

Corruption has been so far enbeded in the PI’s daily routine that its led me to truely believe that it will only get worst. Again, no foreigner has ever or will ever be able to stop it. Why?? Simple, because you are a foreigner, as such, there is no place for your solutions there. Filipinos have a completely different mind-set than Westerners, nearly every decision they make is based solely on family needs. It is inconceivable for them to worry about prostitution or corruption when it is all they have seen since birth. Poverty, and ways to survive is the cornerstone of their morning and nightly thoughts.

Most of us as first time visitors, glue ourselves to the seeder sides of the PI, I mean, afterall it is what we hear most about from people who have gone there before us. However, a great few have stated that one will get tired of that side and start to visit other islands, which is exactly what I experienced. It is only then that you really start to get an idea of what a beautiful country is. Yes, poverty is still stirring you in the face, and thats when you start to feel as if there must be something you can do to help, well, my friend, there is not! Sure we hand out pesos, sometimes too much, too many times but the realization is that it does not and will not ever make a real difference.

And lastly, but most importantly, People are free to marry whoever the heck they want! No one has a right to tell anyone otherwise. If a man feels a desire to marry an uneducated girl or dirt poor girl or bar girl, then I say “go for it” If one decides not to, I say “up to you” Because really, I could give a sh!t less who someone else decides to share their life with, however long or short. But any SOB who abuses a child in my presents or I find out about it later will wish he was never born.

prostitutes in angeles city are not native of angeles city or nearby towns..
they came from other poor provinces/place (maybe visayas) and maybe trafficked and force to work as prostitutes or maybe by will..
my sister and i have seen the place( the area where the cabarets are) because her husband took a short cut because of the heavy traffic..
i felt goosebumps as i peek through the car window..
flashy light on the streets and women who are dressed like . . .
it was so sad that the authorities do nothing..
as if they don’t have a wife or daughters..
they just dont care..(but i am sure they dont want their daughters see or to have knowledge of these prostitutes)….
they are just assuming(the authorities and the community) that these women are adults and they do it by their own will
and own shame and the authorities have nothing to do because even the authorities cant help them find jobs
and they have to leave them alone with their meat business..
i noticed most of the men on the streets on the area are americans or australians..(im not sure ..they look foreign)…
most male filipinos despise prostitutes, they also have high morals . .
mr.steve, i think it’s not the low moral issue..
and most filipinos value virginity and modesty..only few do not..
and you are kinda right of the qualifications u have listed..
but mind you..some dont have college degree but they are as good as those who had..moraly/ethicaly/but not financially as stable…
considering the economy and gov. corruption, etc.
just make sure they are really in love…
as for the prostitutes,
i feel for them bec a woman is supposed to be loved and not bought…
for the foreigners who want to date a filipina,
i suggest that don’t lower your standards..
or use the STANDARDS OF A MALE FILIPINO in chossing a wife..
btw prostitution is illegal here in the Philippines and of course mail order bride industry..

Just drop by to depend those good filipina. I met my fiance in a dating site too, we’ve been corresponding for six years now shes 28 and I’m 51 and from boston with a masteral degree. She dont ask any money from me and she’s a sweet, independent and decent woman. Where going to get married this year in canada, where she apply as a nanny on her own and just waiting for her visa. So dont make it sound like all of them are whore. May god bless those who hate them.