Posted by noemi in From Readers, The Filipina | 2 Comments
That’s the Filipina
Every now and then I will post emails from FilipinaImages.com. This one is from Lan Tait, an American and married to a Filipina. He has had an amazing life on the cutting edge of computers and the Internet for more than 3 and a half decades
Here is Lan’s story:
To me, when I think of being a Filipina, I think of my deceased wife, Bhabes Gelito Tait.
http://bhabes.t8s.org/
Bhabes was 27 when she married me. The first kiss she ever received from a man was right after the minister said, “You may kiss your bride.” When we dated, we sometimes went as far as to hold hands! (Gosh!) In the presence of her parents, I was allowed to give her a quick hug when I arrived and another when I departed. The reason was that she was saving herself for her “God’s Best” husband! Let’s see, that was me!
Eight years later when Bhabes died in a car crash, she finished the course of her life having only kissed one man… Again, that would be me!
That’s The Filipina!
Bhabes was a real lover, a lover of God, a lover of Country, a lover of People and of course, a lover of me!
But one thing she hated was the Filipina image. I remember once walking from the US Embassy where we had been helping her parents, and passing the National Library where workers on scaffolds yelled down to her in Tagalog! She was upset. She said they asked about “ugh-ugh” – I knew what she meant. When she was with me and strangers, they would often think she was a prostitute of some weird kind that wore modest clothing! Mind you we are church going people that avoid bars and discos.
That’s The Filipina!
Recently I told an old high school friend (we were talking about if I would be going to our 40th reunion) that I am married to a Filipina. Later my wife reacted with, “I wish that sounded better!” I pressed her for what she meant and she said she was proud to be a Filipino – but ashamed about what the Internet made Filipinas into.
Now mind you, I was 6’4″ – US Army Trained in many kinds of combat! I have had an amazing life on the cutting edge of computers and the Internet for more than 3 and a half decades! But there are some things that I am sensitive about. For example, I will not allow anyone to offend or put down my wife in front of me – not even in a joke. Being one of the architects of the Internet – I am a little sensitive about what people say about it also (my two great loves, the third being Snoopy – but that is a different story!)
To explain her feelings, she had me Google “Filipina” – you already know what I found.
For our business, we do websites. I make databases, Percy does some CMS webdesign. Percy (my wife of five years) asked me what I can do to change that google page so that a Filipina can be proud to be a Filipina! (The real kind that you and I know about!)
That is my story, but I am willing to help her / and anyone…
ya its true. in fact, i’m like her. i’m mixed hispanic-filipino living in phils but whenever you see my profile on social networking sites, i only disclosed about my spanish origin & never disclosed to anyone on internet that im also phils not because im ashamed of having filipino (and also not because i look a little bit too far from the typical asian woman, thank God for it!!!) lineage but because of the reputation of filipinas both on cyber & real.
i’m Pinay, and so proud of it regardless of what people think about me. It’s been a disease because of what other Filipinas do, i cannot blame them for doing that but i cannot also be any prouder of what they are doing. It has been imprinted on us that we are the sl*tty b*tches from Asia, but guess what? when you go to some other Asian countries, you will be proud you’re not them, aside that they always try to hide their imperfections from the outside world.
We can never change the world, we can never let people take back the mean words that has been uttered BUT we can always move forward. let them think whatever they want to think, us we just live our lives the way we want it to be. we can never let everyone like us, if they don’t then deal with it.
just remember: respect people (their culture, heritage and being) and then expect them to do the same for you (if they don’t it’s their problem not yours)