This is kinda sad because I used to think that if you have a whiter skin, you look neat, clean, hygienic and more acceptable in the society which I realized was a big bullshit. Now I understand why my Filipino-American cousin in the US think that most of our kababayans in the Philippines were unaware that they are racists. It’s because she noticed their stupid perception of the dark skinned people and even some of the black people who were born or visiting the Philippines, which they tend to think that their skin is ugly and sometimes, they make fun of them.

When I first came to the US, I saw different kinds of people with different skin colors, races, faces, cultures, languages and values. Where the presence of dark skinned or black people is not shocking and present in the American society. I didn’t even see a single whitening soap, whitening cream, whitening lotion or any whitening products. That’s the time I realized that having a white skin is not really important at all. Every race with different skin color has a positive unique quality which is pretty evident to some actors/actresses and models.

We’re already in the 21st century. I know its hard or even impossible to make a change regarding this type of mentality but I wish that we should be moving on and feel happy for the type of skin color we have. The influence by the Spaniards, Chinese, and the Americans may have brainwashed us and it’s still existing, but I think we should only embrace the positive influences but disregard the negative mentality that has been killing us even in the present day.

those with fair skin wants to get a tan…

those with tanned skin wants to be fairer…

or probably, people just want to “stand out”. throw in someone that’s fair in a multitude of brown-skinned people chances are, he/she gets all those unwanted attention. likewise, throw in a brown-skinned person amidst a white crowd and the person stands out. maybe it’s the attention we’re craving for at the bottom of it all.

I am American of English and German descent, so I am as white as can be – painfully white, I often say. The love of my life and my soul mate is a Filipina I have been with for the past 3 years (here in America). Her skin tone is a beautiful, creamy “medium brown,” but in her less secure moments she has said things indicating dissatisfaction with her color and darkness. I of course assure her that she is beautiful, and that I would not want her to look any differently.

I did chuckle as I read your description of the “typical” Filipina – it read like a checklist of my sweetheart’s features. Don’t get me wrong - I love her physical appearance. To me, her long black hair, pretty brown eyes, full lips (l-o-v-e those lips …), skin color, and perfectly proportioned frame are superior to other women. Yes, she is much shorter than me, but I have always had a weakness for petite women.

But what Filipino women may not know is that a man of quality is far less concerned about the color of her skin than he is about her qualities as a woman – meaning her character, integrity, caring ways, respect for her man, faith and faithfulness, and sensuality. All of the Filipinas I know are hardworking, kind, have very pleasant personalities, and a unique ability to make a man feel special. That is something American women would do well to learn, because they have bought into a cultural lie that turns men away.

So it occurs to me that perhaps some of the influences to which you object have actually shaped the culture of the Filipino people favorably - in some ways at least. Yet I do completely agree with you that those who judge a person based on color are shallow and ignorant. In this man’s mind, would a whiter Filipina be prettier? Absolutely not.

You mean not “knowing my place”…

When he (my husband) says “knowing my place”, he simply meant that when I am out there in the real world, here in America, people expect me to act, behave, and speak like Filipino. Filipinos are expected to be timid, shy and meek. We speak broken English, especially if we are not born and raised here in U.S. We are submissive, obedient and compliant.

I am none of these… I have accent, but I do not speak broken English. I am not submissive, nor obedient or compliant.

That’s why I do not know my place.

“I am guilty of this, which I vehemently deny. No, I don’t have white skin. I only have a hint of Spanish blood, and I grew up in a leaky nipa hut… So I most definitely do not belong to the privy, selected few… The part that I am guilty of acting like I am white, according to my husband, is the fact that I do not know my place. I do not carry myself according to my stereotype. I think my ego gets in the way. I consider myself just as good as everyone else, regardless of race or color. But maybe my husband is right, on the point that I forget that being a female and a Filipino are already two strikes against me… and I do not know my place…”