Aug 19, 2008

Posted by in The Filipina | 6 Comments

Does size really matters?

Does size really matters???

The average height for Filipina is 5‘0“ – 5’2” (just like most Asians). Compare to Americans we are small and slender. But is that enough basis to judge a person?… just by looking at their physical attributes?

When I left the Philippines, there are certain things in life I started to question.

When I came to Korea. I was a little indifferent because it was the first time that I’ve been away from home. It was the first time that I was expose into a whole new culture and I didn’t know how people would react on me.

Because my husband is an American and was working for the US government, I spent most of my time around people in his nationality (Americans), inside the camps and bases. I met a lot of new good friends that didn’t show any biases about races and nationalities. I guess because the military is more diversified in a lot of things compare to the people in the mainland.

I thought I am no different from the rest, that they sees me the way they see a normal person. But guess I was wrong…

There was this lady (her nationality is different from mine) also married to an American that whenever she sees me she was always picking me up while she kept laughing… that as if I was her toy. That really pissed me off and I started to dislike her from that moment on. My husband was so mad that he needed to pull me outta her and told her to stop. But she just didn’t seem to understand…

Then, Just about a year ago we needed to move from Korea to the United States because of my husband’s new job. Coming from another foreign country we didn’t have that much furniture to fill the new house that we just bought.

So, we decided to pay a visit to Raymour and Flannigan Furniture Store. There was this woman who approached us as we enter the door. She introduced herself, and so did we. But while she was talking, her eyes was stuck on me. I thought that was just her way of getting our attention or my attention. But then, as she was showing us the furniture she couldn’t help herself and finally told me that “I am so small” and that “I am so thin”.

And what’s really got into my nerve was when she called me a “12 pounder lady!”

I didn’t know how to contained myself at that time. I was so mad that I just looked at her and just told myself; “You’re so big, you can even hardly lift your feet from the ground, you would want me to be like you? Hell No!“.

Because I just got into the country, didn’t know the law, didn’t know how to deal with the locals, I just kept my mouth shut and just told my husband to leave store. And we never came back.

This is what I don’t understand. And I think it’s so unfair.

How come there are some people who can tell you that you are so small and so thin and yet it’s not nice to tell them they’re so big and so fat! And they have the guts to judge you.

She had the nerve to call me a 12 pounder and yet I can’t call her 500 pounder as big as a whale.

And the story didn’t end there… there are still some ignorant people who didn’t have any idea of the characteristics of other foreign nationals who still manage to say stupid things. And yet commend for respect. Crazy, isn’t?

How can you expect for respect if you don’t know how to show one…

I never felt so different in my entire life until I was mixed with other people who are totally dissimilar from me.

I realized people can’t just look at you and see through you. Your physical appearance will always be the obstacle in knowing what you really are from the inside.

I know I can’t change how people think about me. But I know I can better myself, to not let my structure to be the basis of how others would define me, and make them think twice before they even say a word.

 icollier

  1. nice writing!

  2. Well just so you know, where i am from(usa), the things the lady in the store said to you would typically be considered compliments :) Being small and skinny is desirable for many women. I doubt she meant to offend you judging by what she said.

  3. Don’t feel bad about the way some (many) Americans treat you because of your race. Many people here are insensitive to other people and (importantly) Americans are accustomed to speaking their mind.

    They often say rude things to me and I’m American as well. Most are envious of your naturally slender build. 90% of American women dearm of being a size 5 or less but are too lazy to do anything about it.

    As a large Black man I got the sort of reaction all over the world. Even Filipinos often say rude things to me because I am so big to them (6’2″, 300). Especially the women! The nicest thing I would hear would be “Hey, Shaq!”, the worst were blunt, public statements about the size of my “equipment.”

  4. Yes, I’m a Fil who moved here in the US. I truly think that on both instances there was no intention to make fun of you. They were just impressed by your petite size. Coming from Americans who think that it’s more prefereble to be small & thin, that was meant to complement you. & yes, we Filipinos are guilty of the same thing. We say kamusta to each other, & then go “ang taba mo ata”. & yes, we don’t have any qualms asking men of their anatomy. But we don’t really mean anything bad about it.

  5. I understand you so well. My mom is a filipina (4’9) and my dad is Swedish (about 6’1 tall), and I got my moms height, I’m 5’1½. People think that they can call me a dwarf and laugh at me without me getting angry. They don’t realize that that hurts as much as if I would grab the fat on their stomach and say “oh you’re so fat!”… The average height for a swedish woman is 5’6 so I’m a head shorter than everyone. I didn’t think about it until people started to comment it. And also especially older people think I’m anorectic just cause I have a slim asian body, 7 stone and 5 pounds for a 5’1 asian body is quite normal, especially for a young girl.

  6. when I was at age of 14-16, i’m always hurt when someone teasing me ‘short’.. and i was more conscious at myself. But then, I realize that it doesn’t matter at all,.. because as we die and our body turn into ashes and dust, our height,weight, size, or even physical appearance will not stay for us forever.That “height stuffs!” is very childish nonsense judgement. As far as in my psychological observation, most of those people who judges are those people that also have a physical inferiority.. ;D

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