This is a repost from Google cache (see screencap) because the author deleted it from this site - Original entry and comments after the jump.
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(Noemi’s Notes: This particular journey started on the DateInAsia website, a story of a man from the UK and found love from a girl named Mayen. Tim believes he was scammed by Mayen and her group of friends. Scammers are not limited to certain portions of our society. Scammers abound anywhere in the world even in the internet. I believe Tim’s story just warns foreigners like him using Dating websites to proceed with caution especially when money transfers are involved. Proceed with utmost diligence.)
Hello - my name is Tim - I have a sad tale to recall, but first, it occurs to me that it might be considered, by some, to be rather impertinent of me to post this here - I would qualify that by arguing that it is most pertinent, highly relevant - the story is about my relationship with a young Filipina - and how - through the events that happened - my image of the Philippines has been dramatically changed.
I have lost the dream that I once had - it has been shattered. The dream was the same one that is used as a lure on dating sites.
However, there is not enough space to write all the caveats - all the warnings - yes - they advise against sending money - but they do not warn against the attitude of contempt that may be endemic.
I have read elsewhere on these pages of the contempt shown for imperialistic attitudes of the west - the conscious or subconscious justification for a beautiful siren - to beckon a ship of dreams on to her submerged reef. But people should always be treated as individuals - not as generalisations.
I am aware that the story touches on many aspects of our lives - cultural differences - deeply ingrained perspectives - but my struggle to come to some understanding has been generally met by a conspiracy of silence - a closing of ranks. Perhaps there is some nobility in that response - but as far as the projected image of the Philippines and her people on to the world stage - it offers little of value, internationally - except to deepen the mystery and darken the shadow.
I have really been left with the impression that the Philippines considers itself able to deal, at long distance, with those of us in the west - tinkering about on the new technology of the Internet and taking just what it needs - then sliding away into the third world shadows when it is convenient.
My sadness comes from the fact that I know what a beautiful country it is - and I do not doubt that good people live there - but why the mute response? Why are their hands tied?
Was it simply that I got enmeshed in a net of contempt - formed out of an unsettled history? Were my sincere dreams mis-interpreted as the perverted desires of sex-tourism? How deep rooted, how prevelant are these attitudes? If the people that I encountered are in such a small minority, why is it that my pleas for help, for understanding seem to fall solely upon deaf ears?
Is my new image - from this shift in perspective - the only bridge that I now have to approach the Philippines - a span of enlightened understanding - where I had hoped to build an arch of love?
The time is soon approaching when the Philippines will no longer be able to hide behind the mask - or portray herself to the world in the colours of sea and sunshine - if the people there do not actively show that they are appalled by the sort of abominable attitude that I was greeted with - in my first - and now, possibly my last - relationship with them.
Please - whatever you think - I am not a racist - nor am I trying to inflame relations between the west and the Philippines - I do not generalise - there are evil people everywhere as well as good - but I would be grateful for a constructive commentary.
Can there really be total apathy - about the behaviour of your country’s ambassadors - reaching out to the rest of the world?
Thank you.
If you would like to read the whole story - day to day - as it unfolded - click HERE.
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Notes By Noemi
Comments are NOW moderated. I reserve the right to approve or disapprove comments. Discuss the issues in a constructive manner. Previous comments were allowed because they were not moderated. I also reserve the right to edit/delete the previously posted comments that is in violation of our Libel Law as stated in Article 353 of the Philippine Revised Penal Code .
We do not delete or censor comments unless they have content that:
* is abusive
* is off-topic
* contains ad-hominem attacks
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22 Responses to “Conned by a Filipina?”
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February 2nd, 2008 at 7:18 pm
I sympathize with your story, Tim. It took me almost 4 hours to read it in its entirety. It’s impossible for dating websites to screen their members, short of asking for an NBI clearance. Did you complain at Dating Asia regarding Mayen? I believe she was operated since the British Embassy confirmed this for you. I know the hospital and I can’t believe they were into this kind of fraud. My sister in law/doctor used to work there. The invoice looks original. It is true that one can’t just call the hospital for information about the patient. But then again, Mayen should have given you clearance to ask for such information.
The Tierra Maria Estates may be innocent in this. My best friend knows Chin chin, the celebrity endorser who is a Christian. The Montinolas who own Tierra Pura are well known in the country. The Sir Francis you mentioned is a former neighbor of mine in a Makati village I used to live. I don’t know Francis Jalbuena personally. But another fact is he is a realtor and respected in his real estate field. Word or gossip gets around in our little circle if scammer lives nearby. Of course, you might even start to think I am part of this scam. Sorry but I don’t know them on a personal level.
I can’t pinpoint them as part of the purported scam though. Filipinos tend to help each other in crisis. It does raise suspicions if one is a foreigner like you. Our “bayanihan spirit” (a Filipino trait of helping one another) comes alive during a crisis. It could be true Francis advanced the money.
Not all Filipinas use dating websites to find financial security. My high school best friend is educated, earning well and not in poverty but resorted to a dating website out of a sincere wish to find love. I think the problem is with the young girls who are restless and want financial security. Dating older women in their 40’s might lead to better chances of success. Then again, there have been successful dating among the young as well.
I’m sorry to say this but based on my own gut feel, I felt that you were not scammed by a group of scam artists, the Medical Center Paranaque, the Tierra Maria Estates, the lawyer and the doctors. We have laws in place to police unscrupulous professionals in our country. Mayen raised these suspicions on you based on her many white lies, inconsistencies and her desperate attempt to find financial security. I feel sorry for the loss of your dream.
For you to have gotten to the bottom of this “scam”, you could have hired a local private investigator to do all these background checks for you.
February 3rd, 2008 at 10:03 am
Hi, Tim!
I agree with Noemi. She have valid points in her comment above.
This big-time scam you are referring to is not at all possible. I also read the transcript of your blog and I emphathize with you and your lost love. But you might want to reconsider in implicating the hospital and Tierra Maria and the other innocent people involved based from what Noemi said above
I hope that you will find it in your heart the peace you are yearning for.
February 3rd, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Hi Tim!
Adding another “i think the same as previous comment” would probably mean nothing now. But here is my two-cents worth.
I have read your story in your blog. I think that Mayen, at first did not intend to scam/trick you. She may have felt genuine affection, but then things led to another, and she is stuck amidst her lies and resorted to more lies which she then have to cover up with more lies. Now, making this like a widespread scheme to con foreigners, that may be too complex to orchestrate at a level in which a hospital, a legit real estate company and the whole gamut of family and friends will be ON it to raise what? a few hundred thousand pesos?
I am sorry about what you went through. Reading your entries and your poetry makes me think that you are deeply scarred by this. Hope you resolve this soon, one way or the other.
February 3rd, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Sure there are scam artists everywhere. Most of your accusations though are based on your suspicions and Mayen’s inconsistencies. If you had stayed longer in the Philippines and gotten to know your fellow British expats, you would have been guided properly instead of relying only on Jim. I am sure the British community would have provided you with all the necessary information. If you want peace of mind, try to locate this group especially those who married a Filipina.
This statement you made….“The result is a breeding ground for racketeering - Tierra Mafia - a cocktail of prostitution - money laundering - extortion - and the internet is the perfect tool to enable these practices to flourish.”
I am surprised that your suspicions went that far. Like Noemi said you need to make a documented basis for such allegations by hiring an independent investigator. You are fortunate the hospital and the real estate firm didn’t sue you for libel. But any intelligent person will see that these entities had nothing to do with your imagined “scam”. At the very least, Mayen scammed you . I hope you put closure into this and place a more factual basis for the scam.
February 3rd, 2008 at 5:10 pm
hello noemi, i was just reading comments… ano po ibig sabihin ng “My best friend knows Chin chin, the celebrity endorser who is a Christian.” i might be getting the wrong message from the statement, especially the “Christian” part.
i just feel sorry for this guy. scammed or not scammed, he felt betrayed. it’s a very unpleasant emotion to say the least.
February 3rd, 2008 at 5:21 pm
@issai- Tim involved Chin chin the endorser as part of the scam artists. I said that to vouch for the character of Chin Chin. My point was any person with strong religious or moral values will not scam anyone. Why was Chin Chin involved here? just because she is the celebrity endorser? It’s not fair for Tim to involve other persons without concrete evidence.
It was Tim’s choice to feel betrayed since he could have gathered more evidence to disprove his doubts. That’s why I am suggesting he investigate further.
February 4th, 2008 at 5:26 am
@noemi, thanks for the clarification.
February 4th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Now I think the mystery is beginning to clear a little.
Out of the blue my misconceptions evaporate.
Especially since I read of your concern for me.
My adventure was purely a mistake, I was mislead.
I should not be seeking to redress the balance.
I should instead make a graceful exit.
Seeing as there is no further ground to be made.
For all I know, innocent people are suffering.
Rediscovering my life is where I should be aiming.
A new year - a new life ahead.
Not wallowing in despair.
Confrontation is not the answer.
I must find that peace in my heart again.
Silence, open space, making room for a fresh hope.
Just reading these comments - I can see the answer.
All is clear to me now.
Love will survive through the ordeal.
Being free is far more important.
Understanding has at last arrived.
Easy to say - but hard to do.
Now though - it must be my priority.
Arrive at complete freedom, that must be my goal - I’ll find the answer will come - initially - it will be hard - to detach myself - first things first - letters I have written will eventually dissolve - fall away - all the words will be forgotten, enough is enough. There is a something here for everyone - a message - we can all learn from our mistakes.
February 4th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
I don’t know that the hospitals or whatnot were also part of it. I can’t even say that they weren’t. What I can put in is that I have seen a very similar attempt toward a friend of mine. Yes, I’m suspicious of my own people even as much as I love them. I saw the girl’s letters, her requests for money, her attempts to meet and the way she threw commitment around way too quickly.
Someone may argue with me on this. I’m not saying we’re all like that. I’m not saying Mayen is definitely guilty, but I have seen the possibility unfold before my eyes and I just wanted to say I sympathize. It’s a lesson worth learning. I hope you move on from it. Tread with caution.
February 5th, 2008 at 7:54 am
OK - Just to set the record straight -
1) I did not post here because I had any doubts about the scam.
2) I posted here because I wanted a Filipina’s views on how their image was being eroded by their own fellow countrymen and women.
3) I know that some people at the hospital were involved.
4) Because the whole thing was a fake - anyone who communicated with me - corroborating the lie that it was true - is implicated by association.
5) So are the people who did not reply to my suspicions - ie. the owner of Tierra Maria Estates (I wrote to them in August) - many government agencies (who didn’t have the courtesy to even reply) - colleagues of the marketing manager - & the celebrity endorser, Chin-Chin Gutierrez and her manager - both of whom I wrote to - but they have either been persuaded by more lies - or they choose to offer their tacet support by not using their high profile to publicly condemn this kind of activity.
6) Because I have a blockade of blogs and videos on the Internet at the moment - denouncing the many people implicated for the above reasons - and as a warning to others - devious efforts are being put in to try to get me to remove it - including the thrust of effort - suggesting that it was only Mayen who was responsible.
Sorry - that will not work.
Follow the links from this very page and you will see for yourself. If you are very clever - read the message in my previous post.
I doubt if this will get past the censors - guarding this page.
February 5th, 2008 at 10:45 am
LOL, i’m only at “episode 22″ of this soap opera-sih crap and about 90% of the content I’ve read are already outright preposterous or just plain dumb. Sorry if you felt “scammed” but your thoughts of a grand scale scam maybe signs of old age or simply signs a delusional mind.
Your “blockade” of blogs and videos, especially your videos blatantly accusing innocent people, will surely get you your 15 minutes of fame in the Philippines . Good thing for you is that all we have is a stupid Republic Act 8792. Just wait till the local media notices your websites. Oh wait, lemme tell them directly
Your gut feelings and investigations are flawed. Mommy Noemi said it very well.
Edit by Noemi Name of the author within the comment removed which I felt was not necessary since he introduced himself as Tim but to play fair, I removed it.
February 5th, 2008 at 11:09 am
Tim- i read everything. like i said it took me 4 hours or so.
so the british embassy who investigated on their personal capacity is in cahoots too? if there was a scam, the amount involved (100,000 pesos or so) divided by 5 or 6 people is not worth the trouble alone. Real estate commissions alone on one or two property sales can give them that amount.
I condemn scams from any person . But in this case, I do not see factual basis .
February 5th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
OK - Noemi - AKA ________ - why are you hiding behind a false name here? Come out into the open. I can prove that you are masquerading behind “Mommy Noemi” - who by the way - would like me to think that she doesn’t know you personally - although she is also in real estate and her blog carries a _______________advertisement.
NO - you don’t divide - you multiply 100,000 pesos by the amount of girls and then by the amount of victims.
Jepoy - just another stooge eh? On the Bayanihan payola?
Great - announce it all you like to the local media - I welcome it.
The time is up for any more “fake” evidence - which btw was only forthcoming because of the pressure I was applying with the blogs. Otherwise they would have all disappeared into the shadows.
You are all just proving what a bunch of conspirators you all are.
What a disappointment - maybe not really - just living up to your stereotype.
*EDITED By Noemi- Name of innocent persons removed.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
oh dear. believe what you want. The entry is not an ad and it was posted by lauren not me. Am really sorry you feel that way.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
The British Embassy’s “investigation” was no more than a phone call. They simply obliged you by passing on the fake information - in the hope that their authority would make it sound convincing - we know all about it - you can no longer pull the wool over our eyes - we know all about a lot of things. How? well that’s what you’ll have to find out - won’t you.
We can prove that it wasn’t true - whereas you did not and cannot prove that it was - advantage to us - all round.
So - the sooner we start to see eye to eye on this - and face the TRUTH - the sooner we can start to adjust the situation - not until then.
*EDITED by Noemi to remove names of innocent persons.
February 5th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Comments are NOW moderated. I reserve the right to approve or disapprove comments. Discuss the issues in a constructive manner. Previous comments were allowed because they were not moderated. However, I also reserve the right to edit/delete the previously posted comments that are in violation of our Libel Law as stated in Article 353 of the Philippine Revised Penal Code .
We do not delete or censor comments unless they have content that:
* is abusive
* is off-topic
* contains ad-hominem attacks
* promotes hate of any kind
* uses excessively foul language
* is blatantly spam
February 5th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Ellumbra - Just as you have every right to make your issues with your situation known in order to warn others as you felt necessary, neomi had every right to voice her thoughts on a situation you made public. You can’t expect everyone to agree with you and people will defend the things they know personally.
And she did say from the start that she read your post from start to finish, taking her 4 hours. Read carefully and do not post so hastily.
February 5th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Remember - I am not suggesting for one moment that the entire hospital or the entire embassy were involved. It only takes one person - intercepting email - for the illusion to work.
February 5th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
what happened? i’m only in chapter 7 of the telenovela and i can’t link to the next installment of the riveting scam-drama! from what i’ve read so far, tim himself was not “that” honest.
timmy, you are still married and there you go posting in dating sites and galavanting half-way round the world looking for an unsuspecting-naive- thirdworld Pinay to “victimize”. Seems like it worked the other way around, as you claim.
Since I have not finished reading your saga ( as my third-world server conked out on me ) I really am not in a position to say my piece. However, since Pinays are prone to “saying their piece” here goes.
You accused a very reputable Philippine hospitals and a good numbers of legitimate doctors of helping out Mayen in her scam. Dude! I know some of these doctors and thet have no inkling of what you are talking about. If they hear of this, you firstworld ass will be sued!
That’s all. I have to finish reading the blog first before I can further comment.
February 5th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
I’m sorry to read about your ill-fated love story (honestly, I only read the synopsis and the entries on the first page). From what I’ve read, I think it’s unlikely that Mayen and her co-workers purposefully planned the money extortion before the two of you met in the Philippines. However, the effort you put into making your story known reflects how much you’ve been hurt and damaged by her inconsistencies. Dishonesty (no matter what color the lie is) and betrayal are such ugly things. It’s true that we are a poor nation, but every country has a few (okay maybe a lot) bad trees, and not all Filipinas take advantage of the benefits of being in a relationship with a Caucasian man when they are presented with an opportunity to be into one. I would like to use myself as an example. I am engaged to an American man 11 years my senior for a little more than a year now. We also met online nearly 3 years ago (through my blog, and I found out later that he has a blog, too), but met in person only last year. When he was here, I never asked him for money. In fact, I always offered to shoulder our daily expenses. I didn’t want him to spend a single cent, because to be honest, he didn’t have much money then, and I felt sorry for him. We’re in long-distance relationship for now, but we’re doing great. My dad, brother and I are flying to the US in April so they could meet him.
If I may say so, maybe you shouldn’t have given her that small chance of raising a suspicion by having unprotected sex with her. If you had protected sex, then there would have been absolutely no reason for her to even think of the possibility of a pregnancy. Women have that kind of power over men, you know. Sorry for the preachy tone, but I learned a similar lesson through first-hand experience and thought it might be helpful.
I am also from Paranaque, and I’ve recently applied for a staff nurse position in that hospital. It’s unfair to involve the name of the hospital in your pursuit to expose the truth, or any company for that matter. I’ve seen the the hospital bill in your Flickr photostream, and it looks genuine (although I’m suspicious of the length of confinement, just 3 days to recuperate from a major surgery? Then again, it varies in every hospital). Still, shouldn’t that bill provide enough reason to believe her?
Give her another chance for what it’s worth. Good luck!
February 6th, 2008 at 9:09 am
Bear in mind that in the Philippines people will sell their integrity, compromise their honesty - “truth” can be purchased - by threat, by favour or by pesos.
umm… this is soooooo offending. timmy, do not generalize the Filipino. also, the “selling of integrity and compromising of honesty” is not an indigenous Filipino trait!
February 6th, 2008 at 9:22 am
This thread is now closed. If you want to discuss this more, please proceed to the author’s original thread. He has a comment section in his blog for discussion purposes. If the author feels there is a scam, there are legal measures to address this with. The comment discussion was also moving towards being libelous.
Instead of using this thread to add more insult and accuse some of the readers of FilipinaImages.com to be part of a “bayanihan payola”, it is best the author uses the proper forum to address this against the person/s and entities concerned. This blog is not the proper venue to air these grievances and accusations, hence the thread was closed.