These are how people the world over have come to know us, Filipinos. And sometimes, I can’t blame them. For though it’s not completely true that these are what constitute us as a people, it’s not completely false either.

Our main export product is our people. A big chunk of our population — roughly ten percent — are Overseas Filipino Contract Workers (OFWs), many of whom are working abroad either as domestic helpers, construction or factory workers, nannies, and health workers, among others. The government calls our OFWs “the modern-day heroes,” because they have saved the country’s economy many times over through their remittances. Without our OFWs, our economy would have long gone under.

We also have mail-order brides — women who have become wives of foreign nationals through dating sites. I do not think this phenomenon is true only among Filipinos, or South East Asian women for that matter, but our case seems to be out of proportion. Just type in the word “Filipina” in the search engine, and you’d see sites advertising Filipinas as if we were commodities.

Being a Filipina, this situation affects me greatly, more so because I cannot claim that the conception that Filipinas are mail-order-brides is entirely false. Many Filipinas have actually taken the easy road to financial security — by marrying a foreign national they met only through the internet and who they have never met before tying the knot, and someone they don’t — or at least, didn’t at first — love.

And so that’s what our women have come to be known — not just mail-order brides, but brides for sale.

When I was a sophomore student in the university, one of my professors, a tall, young, and light-skinned mestiza-looking woman once related to class one of her experiences in an Asian country during a get-to-know party among international scholars. A friend jokingly introduced her as a European, and everybody believed him. Then this friend introduced her as Chinese, and again, everyone believed him. Then Latin American. Again, everybody believed him. Until this professor told her friend to cut the game out, to tell everyone the truth: that she was a Filipina. So he did; but this time, no one believed him. They thought he was joking. No, it wasn’t because she didn’t look like a Filipina, but because they couldn’t believe there’s a Filipina who would be intelligent enough to be part of that group. They thought Filipinas were only either nannies or prostitutes.

Just recently, a friend of mine who works as a marketing assistant in Qatar told me that if only she had a job to come back to in the country, if she weren’t thinking about how difficult their financial situation back home was, she would have quitted her job. “It’s different here, Sis,” she told me. “They have very poor opinion about Filipinos. They would tell you face to face that Filipinos are stupid, and loose. It’s degrading. But you know what? Sometimes, you couldn’t blame them. There are really quite a number of Filipinas here who are… uhmm… misbehaving.”

There are many other related stories about discrimination and misconceptions about our country’s womenfolk; all disheartening. Mary’s sin is not necessarily Ann’s, but for some reason, their common denomination — nationality — make other nationals think they are the same. Logically speaking, this thinking is fallacious, but perception is not the domain of logic. Right or wrong, logical or not, this perception remains, and we shall be viewed through the lens of that perception, whether we like it or not.

I wouldn’t deny that there is a tinge of truth to other nationals’ misconceptions about us. We do have mail-order brides. We do have women who have become victims of the sex trade. We also have countrymen who have falsified their documents to gain entry to other countries. There are also those who do fishy business. We have women who shamelessly ask (demand?) financial support from their foreigner boyfriends. We have bar girls who do dirty tricks on their costumers. But still, I can’t help but wish that when others look at us as a people, they would look deeper than the skin color, beyond the one-word entry in the passport that reads ‘Filipino.’ Because while it is true that a number of our people had made mistakes in the past, and are committing the same mistake now, it doesn’t mean we are all the same. We share many things, but every person’s actions reflect the choices he or she made alone, not the choices his or her comrades made, are making, or shall make.

That we export labor is a sad thing. But I don’t think it should make me hang my face in shame. And no matter how “lowly” the jobs Filipinos hold abroad, I don’t think we should be ashamed of them. OFWs have gone to work overseas to do the things their employers hate doing, or can’t do. They care for their employer’s elders. They fix their mess. These jobs, though seemingly lowly and menial, are respectable. They care for their employers’ children, while inside they are hurting… hurting that their own children back home whom they left long before they were old enough to memorize their parents’ faces, are left uncared for. And the OFWs wonder, and hope, and pray, that the money they send their kids would be enough to pay for their absences (though knowing full well it won’t be), that the material comfort their remittances could buy their children would be enough to nurture them until they go back home to care for them, never to leave them again.

It’s true, there are thousands of OFW success stories, but for every thousand happy endings, is another thousand wrecked homes and children gone wild. Very sad, indeed. But sadder still is the fact that our government is doing nothing to solve the problem. Instead of creating jobs right at home, our government encourages its people to leave and find work abroad, and of course, send remittances. The saddest part of it all is the lack of realistic government programs to support our OFWs who, instead of finding success, meet up with failure abroad.

Yes, we Filipinos are up for sale. And we’re a bargain, with our medical specialists who work as nurses abroad, lawyers who work as hotel janitors, and professionals who work as nannies. But what can we do? For most of our countrymen, not having the guts to leave the country in the face of scarcity of employment opportunities back home is tantamount to succumbing to failure. For most of us, working abroad has become a matter of survival.

Ah, if only our government would wake up from its drunken stupor, if only it would finally learn to put its act together, it would cease being the hearse that leads the nation to its cavernous pit.

//SEBenosa; 03 August 2008
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Please post your comments/join the discussion about this post HERE.

The Paternal Side

For as far as I can remember, my paternal Grandfather have always lived with a different family. He and his other kids would often visit us at home during Sundays. Sundays remained the family day despite the crazy family we had. Technically, his kids are my aunts and uncle, but we played with each other like cousins. Thinking about it now, I’m surprised about how everything seemed casual. They would arrive a little before lunch time, and would mano to my Lola Llena when they see her. The eldest of my Lolo Harry’s other kids is just a few years older than me and I regarded her as my ate. We would play with my dolls up until my Mom calls us downstairs for lunch. My Lola is a bit prejudiced towards them, but she was never rude. She even gave them Christmas gifts sometimes. Last year my Lolo committed suicide. He jumped off the ledge on our veranda in the 3rd floor, right in front of my room, and I was there to see it. He stood on a chair, held on to the railings to balance himself, then he jumped. There was a loud thump, and I remember my dad shouting in panic. My brother called for an ambulance, I ran downstairs. I held on to my Lolo’s head to keep him from moving. The ambulance arrived and he was taken away. I was left there, staring at the blood that spewed from his mouth. I don’t know if it was because of regret or emptiness or whatever excuse he had. For the first time, I almost hated him. I felt it was a selfish move. But that was my Lolo, he loved the drama.

That week almost all of our relatives abroad traveled back to Manila to attend his wake. I tried to make myself unavailable. I offered to be on watch duty in the house instead. I cooked the food at home, to be taken to church, which is then served to the guests. I cleaned the house, and ignored all fears of being haunted by my Lolo’s soul. His memories irritated me. His wake ran for over a week. I only went there twice. Once, because my favorite uncle practically dragged me there. The second time was for the burial.

The Maternal Side

Similarly, my maternal Grandparents are separated too. I remember my Lolo Doroy leaving for Saudi when I was just a toddler. I have no other memories of his besides that. When I grew older and capable of understanding of mature matters, I learned that it’s been years since he made contact with my Lola, and that he has a different family now. My Lola Vacion, being a good Christian, just wished him well and prayed for him whenever she can. A few years ago, Lolo Doroy died. I don’t know how my mom found out, but despite being not in contact for years, Mama and her brothers are still the ones that arranged and paid for his burial.

The Present Generation

Before my dad left the country to work abroad, he was a cop. As an adolescent, I have been aware of his infidelities, although they were pretty discreet. My parents don’t know that I know, but I was mature for my age, many thanks to the hours I’ve spent at home with only my brother and yaya. Being a cop was a thankless job, but it was what my dad loved. Despite the poor salary, my mom almost single-handedly managed to make us graduate in private/exclusive schools. My dad’s salary cannot be relied on. It was barely enough to cover the bills and food expenses. He was also often away. When he’s not out working, he’s probably at home sleeping or drinking and playing tong its with his friends. He was the perfect image of a policeman. But who was I to complain, I’m just his kid. He wasn’t even there when I graduated grade school with honors. He never congratulated me for reaching regionals on the Spelling contest. He never took an active part in my upbringing, yet I still worked hard just to get his approval. On my senior year in high school, he left to work in Italy. Most of his siblings are already established there and has families of their own. He decided to leave because I was going to college and we needed more funds. In another year, there will be two of us (my brother and I) going to college, and there will be even more expenses. I felt proud of my dad because I knew it was a big sacrifice on his part.

Many would regard the Internet as God’s gift to humanity. I used to think so too, until I realized how the Internet played a big part in my family’s destruction. My dad met someone over the Internet. A Filipina married to an Australian. They are having an affair and it pains me so much that despite years of trying to please my dad; trying to get awesome grades, excelling in extra curricular activities, being responsible; he denied having me as a child. There are five of us, and he only declares having 2 kids, to his mistress. All those years of being supportive and being obedient, was for nothing. I have been witness to my Mom’s hardships just so she could be the best mom and wife. It saddens me that despite all her hardships, she still has to endure more pain and suffering. But my mom has a strong faith, and she held on to God like she never did before. We’re all better now. We have learned to deal with the situation and it has brought our family closer. It’s kind of weird, with unspoken words, betraying eyes, whenever we eat together or hear mass together as a family. My dad keeps on telling us that he’s trying to change, but we know better. All those years of keeping up with his lies, while my mom tries everything to cover up his mistakes and make up for his lack of parenting skills.

So, what exactly does this have anything to do with shaping the Filipina image? It would take a great Filipina woman to deal with the kind of problems my Lolas and my mom had to go through. More so, the kind of problems that you get to live with everyday. Everyday is a drama waiting to unfold in our household. It’s also a wonder how my mom was able to bring us up this way, despite the destructive environment we’re in. She always teaches us to respect people, even if it is by default because of age and not of admiration. She always reminds us to have faith, and to never question God’s will. Because of my mom, I know I can take on any problem , any failure, because I will always have my family behind me, and that they will always be proud of me. I even wonder where she gets the spirit to inspire people. Despite the problems we face on a daily basis, she still manages to share a smile and lend a helping hand to other people. Also, I’m writing this as a tribute to them. Recently, my Lola and my Mom had to go through another dirt road. My Lola was diagnosed with colon cancer and will have to undergo chemotherapy. My mom on the other hand, had a complete abdominal hysterectomy because of a ping pong sized cyst that was found in her ovaries. We have yet to find out if my Mom will be needing treatment too. But hey, it’s just another problem that our family has to go through, and although sordidly hard, my Filipina mom can always keep us together.

Author’s note: I know I should be sending this to Ate Charo instead, sorry, I just needed to post this somewhere. – Isel

I’m the very wrong person to preach about morality or question the depth of it. But my take on relationship and marriage has long been influenced by many faces of cultures and mentality ever since I moved out of my parent’s house. And I have learned that when the box we live in becomes suffocating, we have the choice to get out of it and live outside it.

When asked by my mom, where have all my values gone? It’s actually still there inside the box and I am outside of it for the moment trying to breathe some air.

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Where do Filipinas fit in the United States? Where do I want to fit in the United States? Growing up Filipina, bi-cultured, and questioning my identity was an unanswered and fathomless feat. It was not until my mid-twenties when I began to sharpen an under-utilized tool: my voice. Independence, significant relationships, and deepening my career brought a carriage of hard-edged stones as I contemplated heavy issues, such as belonging, ethnicity, sexuality, race, and gender.

I was born and raised with Brown skin and thick black hair in middle-class, blond and brunette Midwest North America. In the classroom, I rebelled against the model minority stereotype in my love of writing, not natural sciences. In any free moment, I wrote poetry, essays, and letters about the world, my world, and dreams of being a journalist. My brothers and I wrestled. I sang Broadway classics with my sister while she played the piano, and my family reunions were legendary in time and food consumption.

Growing up, there were a thousand precious elements of my culture held dear to my Filipina heart, but I related to them differently than my parents. I feared showing my true colors to Philippine-born Filipinas because I didn’t know how to speak Tagalog or dance the Tinikling. I grew up with Filipino food, but I didn’t know how to cook many dishes. I attended Filipino parties and picnics, but did not have many Filipino friends. Belonging to either side was an endless footpath of negotiation and uncertainties.

It can be psychologically, emotionally, and socially destructive to never be fully seen or counted, both literally and metaphorically. Questions about my ethnicity, “Chinese, right?” grew irritating and the proverbial Asian umbrella which grouped Asian women together proved entirely too small for my questions. This enduring isolation led me to separate my Filipina self and operate under conditioned fragments. The more I questioned, the more I unraveled.

Wherever I went, wherever I traveled, the mystery of Filipinas followed. No one really knew what Filipinas were about except what they had briefly observed in the news or the stereotypes projected by popular culture. Filipinas were sexy, docile, domestic workers or mail order brides. They were quiet, submissive, and eager to please. They loved serving their husbands and tending to their children. Filipinas, most importantly, were born in and from the Philippines.

I was none of those things.

I wanted to know who else was out there in the world of Filipinas. In all my education, there were not many resources for Filipina mentors, models, or heroes. In the United States, communities of Filipinos reside primarily in coastal cities, particularly in the west. The majority of programs and opportunities to cultivate and influence the image of the Filipina were never in my grasp. The more I looked into the media, the more I understood how Filipinas were misrepresented. The exploitation, objectification, and sexualization of the Filipina began to hold personal insult and outrage. My angry thoughts grew deafening and eventually unchained themselves from a wall of silence and complacency.

Then, I began to blog.

In the explosion of the online world, blogs have come to hold various meanings and purposes. As it as with any other facet of a corporate driven society, opportunities for financial gain often come at the expense of others. Online businesses have pushed the image of the Filipina as a woman for sale, always ready to meet men, and marry in any circumstance. I contend that any blog, site, or organization that promote ads which feature Filipinas as dependent and/or exchangeable commodity, should be refuted by the entire Filipino community. Our online ethos must commit to decrying this type of marketing and media. If Filipinas do not stand to gain more freedom, respect, and visibility, I will not and do not endorse the blog, site, or organization.

Bloggers need to raise awareness of the social injustices that jail the Filipina spirit (such as global sex trafficking, abuse of domestic workers overseas, immigration issues, and enslaving poverty) and they also need to be aggressive in their denouncement of Filipina commercialization. To enhance the online image is to affirm the authentic presence of the Filipina. It is time for us to come out of the dark with strong voices, accents, poetry, opinions, music, intelligence, theories, and ideas. Bloggers need to do this by promoting work, featuring accomplishments, and highlighting leadership roles held by Filipinas.

My online voice is the one facet of media in which I can contribute to a new definition of the Filipina. She is just like you – filled with conflict, hope, joy, and life. She has a past that rests behind her eyes that holds the power of her foremothers who are presidents, doctors, engineers, poets, mothers, nurses, teachers, policy makers, lawyers, gardeners, and healers. The Filipina is the woman who has risen and fallen in the history of governmental corruption, war, and colonization. She is also the woman who has fought, endured, and organized against oppression. The Filipina is everywhere. She is a powerful force; formed to the contours of her native country, and shaped by whatever citizenship she holds.

As a Filipina blogger, I embrace the opportunity and responsibility to make the unknown known. I accept the challenge to change the online image of Filipinas by introducing my whole self, my own bi-cultured spirit. By expanding the online definition and image of the Filipina diaspora, I hope it transpires into offline empowerment for both myself and other Filipinas around the world.

Cross posted at A Womyn’s Ecdysis

To fully understand the whole painting that is the Filipina, we need to scrutinize both the background and the main element. The background shows us a dynamic picture of the Filipina of yesteryears. She was a babaylan or katalonan (chief priestess) during the pre-Hispanic period, an active participant of the revolution, a committed member of the suffrage movement in the 19^th century, and now a strong force in every sector of the society.¹

She has always enjoyed equality with men, and has always sought and received education. That is, until the coming of the Spaniards that underlined man’s superiority and the woman’s limited capacity², thus forcing the Filipina to take a supporting role in society.

She was typecast as meek and submissive, but was she ever really? Even the widely fabled Maria Clara showed glimpses of an inner strength and a resilient spirit — qualities that always came to the fore whenever circumstances would pit the Filipina against social and personal turmoil. She got through the dark ages of her past — her repression and the rape of her soul and spirit by the colonizers — stronger than ever. She took an active part in building the nation, and in becoming what she is today.

The main element of the portrait, on the other hand, is the modern Filipina — her evolved self. Having recaptured her previous role in the society, that is, her man’s equal, she is busier than ever, charting not just her own destiny but that of the whole nation. She has become the country’s chief executive and a commissioned officer in the armed forces. She now holds major seats in the government, chairs executive meetings in offices, launches civic activities, moulds the young, and lords over her internal and external struggles, among others. She has braved foreign cultures in foreign lands, and is braving them still.

The modern Filipina is multi-faceted. Gifted with an open, compassionate heart, she is loyal and unselfish. She values love and friendship, adores her family, and does not mind putting her loved ones’ needs ahead of her own.

Blessed with a good mind, she loves learning and enjoys getting the kind of education she deserves. Social issues and intellectual debates are as much a staple for her as are talks about movies, social events, and shopping and beauty products. She can enjoy the company of logic and common sense, and get cozy with introspection. She can do anything she sets her mind on and can excel in her own field. She is the sail and rudder of her own ship; she knows what she wants, and does her best to achieve it. She knows and speaks her mind and asserts her views, although at times — when she sees fit — she is willing to hold her tongue to give the platform to her husband.

Endowed with a compassionate soul, hers are the hands that reach out to friends and loved ones in need. Her shoulders, strong yet comfortable, are always ready to caress wounded spirits. She may be quick to tears, but as she pours her heart out, an inner strength surges to the surface, and a new resolve comes over her. She has the resilience of the bamboo that allows her to thrive even in the harshest of conditions. She may bend and sway with the direction of the wind during stormy weathers, and she may cry rivers when her existence is jolted by life’s earthquakes, but she never gives up; she strives not to fall.

Bestowed with a happy spirit and shiny disposition in life, she smiles a warm smile, and laughs an infectious kind of laughter. She deals with life with the necessary amount of seriousness, and licks her wounds with good humor. 

Being human, she too commits mistakes. She also stumbles and errs. But her weaknesses do not warrant removal of her portrait from the world gallery of respectable and strong women. It should continue to hang there; it is the spotlight that has been focused on the tiny blemish on her portrait for so long that should be finally properly angled so that the viewers may, hopefully, learn to admire the masterpiece that the Filipina really is.

Notes: 

¹www.kababaihan.org²(Roxas-Aleta, 1977:13) 

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Note: This is my entry to the WikiPilipinas Filipina Stories writing contest. You may also read this post at my  Brainteaser and The Written Wor[l]d blogs.

BROWN PINAY fully supports the campaign to uplift & reshape the Filipina image online. BROWN PINAY, proud to be a SEXY FILIPINA .

As part of my commitment to this cause, I pledge to have a write-up on my blog or a feature of Filipina bloggers once a month (the least), about Filipinas whom we can be considered as SEXY FILIPINAS . Sexy does not necessarily mean physical, redefining sexiness….Sexy woman is a confident strong Filipina…

continue reading at Brown Pinay Supports….Yan ang Filipina

by Marikenya

It’s a well known fact that the Filipinas of today are far different from the traditional Filipinas in the earlier period. Being a pinay myself, I am thankful for all those fearless Filipinas in our history who valiantly fought against the society’s narrow concept on women particularly on the issues of our rights, responsibilities and capacities.

Today, to my delight, our country is already inundated with empowered Filipinas. We are now free to obtain an education, plan and have our own career and fight for ideals and principles that we believe in. Although there still exist tapered dogma on our gender from the conservative and conformist sector of our society, everyday, more women are enlightened and refuting abuses and violence against them.

Today, I am celebrating my being a proud Filipina and let me share with you my accomplishments last year as an empowered pinay juggling different roles in life:

When we talk about Filipina before, the first thing that would enter one’s mind is a weak naïve, dependent and helpless woman second best to the race of Adam.

Being deprived of the right to education, her task is to help on the household chores instead of going to school for the reason of being an inferior gender responsible for taking care of her children. What even degrade your morale as a person is being coined by an international translator that “Pinay” is synonym to a maid.

The society has blind spotted the viewpoint of taking care of kids is more crucial obligation and thus seen as an easy task without even realizing that your worth, Pinay is more than just anything else.

Pinay, who are you nowadays? I’m very proud that you are out there in the business industry showing your potentials. Some of you were even holding the most powerful position in your chosen career. What makes you even more impressive Pinay is becoming the first in
Asia to rule over the so called superior gender in the world of politics.

The issue is not all about who’s the greater gender but being a woman, what is your worth being part of a double standard society?

Let us prove to the world that we are vital part and should not be disregarded. Despite of our weak physical attributes, we possess brilliant minds that could come up with big ideas that would change tomorrow. And also, they should not forget that we have the power to give birth to a new generation that will lead and shape the future.

Well, for one, I could blame 300 or so years of spanish colonialism for making our ancestors believe that if your skintone is lighter or if you have that mestiza looks, you can be mistaken for an illustrado or someone from the upperclass. Or even hold accountable the 4-year japanese invasion or the 10 years or so american administration.

I could also blame the advertising industry for creating and showing those decieving commercials implying that if you’re not white enough, you’re not beautiful, nor desirable, nor glowing. Heck, they probably haven’t seen a tanned or dark-skinned glowing woman.

I don’t blame them. The skin-whitening industry is making a lot of money. According to market research company AC Neilsen, the personal-care industry poured P23.4 billion in advertisements in 2004, a quarter higher than in 2003. (1) And its a craze all over Asia.

But get real, people! Our country’s climate is hot, humid, and tropical. The sun is out for almost 12 hours in some parts of the year. Its either you enjoy where you live, bask in all the sun’s glory or hide from it, scared that too much exposure will make your skin masa-dark.

I admire those beautiful, dark filipina models and actors more – Angel Aquino, Angel Locsin, Miriam Quiambao, Alessandra and Assunta de Rossi, Tweetie de Leon, Wilma Doesnt and the latest Bb. Pilipinas-World, Maggie Wilson. Why, you ask? They actually stand out amongst the hoardes of fair-skinned actresses because of their color and their classic filipina beauty.

Let me leave you with a nice message which I read from the Inquirer website a few months ago… In the long run, a healthy acceptance of one’s body outlasts all the good effects of the skin whitening and weight loss products that the market offers.

I couldn’t agree more.

I’m Aiza, a mom, a wife and an uber-proud Filipina. I’m beautiful, tanned and loving it.

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This is my 2nd entry to the Filipina Writing Project and Yan ang Filipina campaign. Come join us too!

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Here are some of the entries to the cause:

• Filipina Nurse
• Traits of a Filipina
• Mukha ng Dalagang Filipina
• Macho I Love Yous
• Portrait of the Strong Filipina
• Filipina in Perspective
• Model Filipinas, modern Gabrielas: Liza Maza and Luz Ilagan
• A Prayer for a Filipina
• A Filipina in Society
• Si Aling Epang
• Yan ang Filipina
• Filipina
• The Different PERSONAS of a Filipina
• Google Suggested Pinay Scandal
• Quest for Search Engine Visibility for the keyword “Filipina”
• The Portrait of a Japayuki as a Filipina
• Google Suggested Pinay Scandal
• Filipina Pride
• 3 Things You Possibly Do Not Know about the Filipina
• What is a Filipina?
• Long live Bb Filipinas
• Biking Moves These Filipinas
• Filipinas: Tres Marias
• Pinay Na, Nars Pa!
• Looking Beyond the Heart of a Filipina
• My Filipina Thoughts
• The Filipina Campaign
• Filipina Since Birth
• Filipinas are Natural Entrepreneurs
• Spotlight: Filipina Bloggers
• Filipina 2007
• The Portrait of a Japayuki as a Filipina
• Filipino DH (Die Hard Filipina)
• Maria “Ria” A. Jose is a Filipina
• The Ideal Filipina In The Heart And Mind of A Filipina (Not A Mere Dating Or Sex Object)
• Filipina
• Different Faces of a Filipina
• Are you just a Filipina?
• Ako po si Elay, Nagbibigay Pugay
• Nang Itaas Niya Ang Kanyang Kamay
• Hindi lang Filipina Dating, Dating Filipina, Wow Filipina talaga!
• A Different Filipina
• Filipina: prostitution and exploitation
• Ang Pinay sa Buhay ni Pinoy Ambisyoso
• They are Filipinas Too
• Ako si Pina.. At ito ang aking kuwento…
• Filipina – Boholana, Part 1
• Dalawang Anyo ng Pinay
• Filipina’s You Shouldn’t Be Messin With
• Filipina: Isa ring Ina
• Filipina Writing Contest and My Favorite Filipina Blogger
• Filipina is a Filipino Woman
• Filipina Pride
• Ang mga Filipina ng Buhay Ko
• The Filipina in the Eyes of the World
• 3 Things You Possibly Do Not Know about the Filipina
• A Topless Filipina in Europe
• What is a Filipina?

Dami na no?