The telephone conversation with my mother last night was rather painful. She’s an authority in rubbing guilt and I’m the beginner in the guilt trip examination who flunked over and over again regardless of valid reasons. It’s plain and simple, one thing filipina women all feared and never talked about was divorce. That’s why when the rude awakening happened and all vital signs that the marriage is dwindling and in the brink of breaking up right in our very eyes, traditional filipina women would still choose to close their eyes and try to work it out for fear of loosing that social status of devine and traditional filipina living the normal life.

I’m the very wrong person to preach about morality or question the depth of it. But my take on relationship and marriage has long been influenced by many faces of cultures and mentality ever since I moved out of my parent’s house. And I have learned that when the box we live in becomes suffocating, we have the choice to get out of it and live outside it.

When asked by my mom, where have all my values gone? It’s actually still there inside the box and I am outside of it for the moment trying to breathe some air.

Sometimes it is the field between the two roads where the richest soil is toiled.

Where do Filipinas fit in the United States? Where do I want to fit in the United States? Growing up Filipina, bi-cultured, and questioning my identity was an unanswered and fathomless feat. It was not until my mid-twenties when I began to sharpen an under-utilized tool: my voice. Independence, significant relationships, and deepening my career brought a carriage of hard-edged stones as I contemplated heavy issues, such as belonging, ethnicity, sexuality, race, and gender.

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The Filipina of today is a life-size, full-length oil painting on canvas. She is a tableau that can be hung and appreciated, with pride or prejudice, depending on who the audience is. She is a multi-dimensional portrait. The background, shaped by the epochs in which she slowly evolved, greatly influences the main element, which is a mixture of diverse yet solid colors.

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BROWN PINAY fully supports the campaign to uplift & reshape the Filipina image online. BROWN PINAY, proud to be a SEXY FILIPINA .

As part of my commitment to this cause, I pledge to have a write-up on my blog or a feature of Filipina bloggers once a month (the least), about Filipinas whom we can be considered as SEXY FILIPINAS . Sexy does not necessarily mean physical, redefining sexiness….Sexy woman is a confident strong Filipina…

continue reading at Brown Pinay Supports….Yan ang Filipina

(A couple of weeks ago, while uploading my post for Filipina Images dot com, an empowering Filipina website, I stumbled upon the post of Ms. Leah Cantos, another proud Pinay, on her Contest for Filipinas with blogs. It was open to all Filipina bloggers residing in the Philippines. Here’s was my entry for that contest and with God’s grace, I won that contest too with this piece.Thanks Leah. )

by Marikenya

It’s a well known fact that the Filipinas of today are far different from the traditional Filipinas in the earlier period. Being a pinay myself, I am thankful for all those fearless Filipinas in our history who valiantly fought against the society’s narrow concept on women particularly on the issues of our rights, responsibilities and capacities.

Today, to my delight, our country is already inundated with empowered Filipinas. We are now free to obtain an education, plan and have our own career and fight for ideals and principles that we believe in. Although there still exist tapered dogma on our gender from the conservative and conformist sector of our society, everyday, more women are enlightened and refuting abuses and violence against them.

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Pinay, you have gone a long way!

When we talk about Filipina before, the first thing that would enter one’s mind is a weak naïve, dependent and helpless woman second best to the race of Adam.

Being deprived of the right to education, her task is to help on the household chores instead of going to school for the reason of being an inferior gender responsible for taking care of her children. What even degrade your morale as a person is being coined by an international translator that “Pinay” is synonym to a maid.

The society has blind spotted the viewpoint of taking care of kids is more crucial obligation and thus seen as an easy task without even realizing that your worth, Pinay is more than just anything else.

Pinay, who are you nowadays? I’m very proud that you are out there in the business industry showing your potentials. Some of you were even holding the most powerful position in your chosen career. What makes you even more impressive Pinay is becoming the first in
Asia to rule over the so called superior gender in the world of politics.

The issue is not all about who’s the greater gender but being a woman, what is your worth being part of a double standard society?

Let us prove to the world that we are vital part and should not be disregarded. Despite of our weak physical attributes, we possess brilliant minds that could come up with big ideas that would change tomorrow. And also, they should not forget that we have the power to give birth to a new generation that will lead and shape the future.

I could get shot for writing this, ahahaha. Not really. Its just that I still don’t understand why there are so many beautiful brown-skinned Filipinas wishing, praying and hoping to be a whole lot whiter.

Well, for one, I could blame 300 or so years of spanish colonialism for making our ancestors believe that if your skintone is lighter or if you have that mestiza looks, you can be mistaken for an illustrado or someone from the upperclass. Or even hold accountable the 4-year japanese invasion or the 10 years or so american administration.

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I was born here. I was raised her. I was educated here. All in this small town of Malabon, this is where my life is, all of 47 years and counting. I now live with my 52 year old Irishman and I look like a half and half Chinese-Malay descent. He is a British Passport holder, I am a Philippine Passport holder. He has three children by his ex-wife who is Irish, I have three children by my late ex-husband, a Filipino. He has six grandchildren by his eldest daughter. A fact that made me an instant Grandma by default of marriage. So our total brood for now is six and six: six children, six grandchildren. However, we both define our new family as: him, me and my three daughters, all living in Malabon City.

That I have lived in this country instead of abroad is my choice. That I have married my English speaking husband is a Godsend. I met him over the internet in 2001. We had our first eyeball meeting two months after our first emails. Before that we had seen each other through our pc cams and had talked everyday, at least once a day, at the most three times or six times a day. I am the quasi conservative Filipina, who waited for the man to make the first move, and he is this lady’s gentleman, always there to help.

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HAVE YOU GOOGLED “FILIPINA” LATELY? The internet over the years has become the most powerful source of information- more than books, other print media, tv and library. It gives limitless knowledge to the point of overloading one with too much data. As such, it gives access to any unimaginable topic, issue, news, anything at your fingertips. It can also mar reputations, make you want to throw up for the sick sites you accidentally come across, ruin companies, destroy lives. Anybody can go to any search sites to search for anything one can possibly think of. Type a word, phrase, even a question and though won’t guarantee you will find what you’re looking for, it will supply however countless websites (by the hundreds of thousands of links) more than enough to divert your attention and focus on the searches found instead. READ MORE HERE…