thoughts of a Marikenya

The other day, while I was watching television, I saw the news on Mary Jane Arciaga, the OFW who just returned from Dubai and who allegedly died from a liposuction surgery. She’s beautiful and only in her mid-30s. Such a great loss for a woman who wanted to look better by being slimmer.

Yesterday, I met Sarah (not her real name). She’s a beautiful girl in her 20s, one of the applicants in a jobs fair our group conducted for a mall that will soon open in Marikina. Sarah was applying for a job of a saleslady or a cashier where she was rejected. She was very sad and she was trying to understand why she did not get in when she looked smart and was not bad looking at all. She said: “dahil ba mataba ako?”

Looking at her, I suddenly remembered a female politician in our town who resembled the late actress Ma. Theresa Carlson. She is in her early 40s and is very pretty. She is also very rich and when I saw her again, she was slimmer and people kept on murmuring at her back: “ang payat na niya, salamat sa lipo at tummy tack. ”

I am very familiar with these kind of stories. I have always been the “fat one.” I experienced name calling from classmates and neighbors when I was younger and my insecurities grew bigger as I aged. No matter how good I was at school or how “bibo” I was, people still see me as the plump girl. My confidence was severely wounded.

I remember some time in 2000, I had a good looking boyfriend and I feared so much of losing him to somebody else because of my being overweight. I began to diet and worse, became bulimic. Each time I would eat, I would feel guilty and would vomit what I’ve eaten. It took me a while to overcome this habit especially since I kept it as a secret even to my family and trusted friends. Fortunately, I met someone better who loved and accepted me for who I was.

I also learned to accept and love myself. I began seeing “me” as a person who is as valuable and as special as others. I focused on my skills and developing them to show others that I am more than the flabs that they initially see when they look at me. I became a happier person and regained my confidence.

Feeling beautiful and important depends on how we look at and value ourselves. Believe that people will see the image of ourselves that we radiate to them. If I am happy, even without makeup, people beam at me and say “You look good today!” If I feel lousy and depressed, no amount of make-up is able to hide my feelings.

The point… Be happy and work on steadying your self-concept. It’s important that we know ourselves. That we are confident and comfortable with who we are and what we can and cannot do. Let us not waste our time and our life worrying about our imperfectness. If others think lowly of us, let them. As the cliche goes… “it’s impossible to please everyone” and may I add… “It’s impossible to please everyone especially those who doesn’t want to be pleased.”

Let us not lose more lives to surgeries or waste dreams to insecurities. We are empowered Filipinas of the modern day, we may be fat but hell, we can still feel and look fab!

Read More Writings by Marikenya.

by Marikenya

The introduction of gender laws in the Philippines has showed substantial progress in terms of protecting women and children from abuses. In other countries in Asia and in some parts of our country however, gender discrimination remains pervasive.

Although the efforts of the government and NGOs and other concerned groups are laudable in promoting gender equality, it seemed off-track or probably lacking attention on particular segment of “women” like youth and the elderly.

While there are a lot of activities and programs on addressing gender parity, most of these efforts are directed towards the very young (children) and adults (those in their mid-20s to middle-age). Although there are, it seemed that promotions of gender empowerment targeted for the youth sector of our communities are insufficient. Take for example the increase of porn websites featuring young Pinays, not to mention those who provide live show for foreigners in their very own home in exchange of dollars. Many teen Filipinas also fall for the empty promises of online dating sites as well as mail-to-order bride programs in the hope of finding rich foreign husbands or lovers.

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by Marikenya

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

Unemployment, Poverty, Dreams — these are some of the reasons why Filipinas today are found in the different countries in the world. Bearing with homesickness and hard work, she slave away her nights and day to send remittance to the Philippines.

Fortunately to many Filipinas working overseas, they were employed in professions and jobs they have chosen and liked.Unfortunately to many though, Filipinas had to shift careers and convince selves that they would eventually like their work and it all would be worth it. In the past, depressing statistics showed that many teachers and other professionals migrated to Asian countries to become domestic helpers. Today, the trend is different: women shift careers to become nurses, caregivers, nursing assistants, and medical transcriptionists. Even doctors today shift to nursing because of the high demand for nurses abroad especially in the west.

There were also change of careers to become apple pickers in New Zealand or factory workers in Korea or Japan. Many Filipinas decided to leave behind their bachelor degrees for fifty to eight thousand pesos wages in apple picking or assembling electronics. Just last year, I have two good friends (one was a bank teller and another a physical therapist who have his own pharma business) who migrated to the States to become dishwashers and table wipers in a hotel.

I have high respect for all of these women who sacrificed their comfortable life, education, and career in the Philippines to try their luck abroad and secure the future of their family. Needless to say, their intentions are as noble as their deeds.
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by Marikenya

By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacation-less class. Anne Morrow Lindbergh, American aviator, Gift from the Sea

There is an increasing number of “enterprising filipinas” today. Most of them are engaged in micro enterprises, and for many, in the informal economy where they operate in a poor working condition and environment with little prospect of being able to work their way out of poverty. All, however, endure these challenges for one unselfish reason — income generation for her family.

Unfortunately for women, engaging in business is far more challenging and intricate than for men. In many societies and economic situations, women in poverty do not have much opportunity to assess their own situation, to appreciate their own strengths, and to overcome their weaknesses in coping with the entrepreneurial world.

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by Marikenya

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. ~Nicole Hollander

Don’t worry male readers, this article is not meant to antagonize the male species. I just started this post with Hollander’s quote because it made me smile and it’s relative to what I’m about to write.

The other day, a friend of mine, Ella (not her real name), called me and we had a long chat about her marital woes. Apparently, there was a fight again between her and her husband Ned (also not his real name). The husband was jealous and doubtful of her and almost beat her to death during that fight.
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